No Balm For Grief
by Hotaru
Summary: The survivors of Umbrella Inc's disasters are being targeted by a serial killer. One by one, they are targeted. Will they figure out the pattern of the killer's attacks before he strikes again?
1. Chapter 1

No Balm for Grief  
By: Hotaru  
  
Notes: I'm finally writing something angsty and without a happy ending. ^_~ We'll see how it goes.

Why does it seem like the weather is always gloomy at funerals? Is it God's way of telling you that he feels your pain? Or is it just a natural phenomenon that causes you to feel even worse about the situation? Then again, even if it was bright and sunny, your feelings wouldn't change. Nothing can change you when you're burying seven of your comrades.

The family members all agreed that a joint funeral would be best. Everyone worked together, their families knew each other from picnics, and holiday parties. They would probably not be getting together anymore, so they might as well do it to say goodbye.

I looked at myself one last time in the mirror as I loosened my pearl earrings. Picking a cat hair from my black sleeve, I sighed. I was just delaying the inevitable. They were all gone, and everyone was waiting for me. Stuffing a few tissues in my purse, I looked in the mirror one last time, before leaving my bedroom.

"You ready?" He asked, looking quite handsome in his black suit and tie. He doesn't look his age. I still can't believe he is two years older than I am.

"I don't think I was ever ready for this." I answer him, coming down the stairs. "But we better get going. Is it raining?"

"No, not yet. Bring your umbrella, anyway. I called the cemetary, and they said they set up a canopy, but you wouldn't want to mess up your hair and make up since you spent so long on it." He was trying to cheer me up. I pull on my coat and open the front door.

"I figured I should look nice." I reply dully. 

We remain silent as we walk to his car. He opens the door for me, like a gentleman. Glancing up at the gray sky, I frown. Storm clouds were moving swiftly towards us.

"Come on, Jill. We're gonna be late." He says, turning the car on. I sit down in the passenger seat, and close the door.

"Sorry. I was just thinking. Do you have your speech?"

"Yeah. I was going over it while you were getting ready."

The drive to the cemetary was quiet. Rain began to lightly fall, splashing on the windshield before being smeared away by the wipers. A miserable day.

After greeting their aquaintances, and giving condolences, the mourners sat underneath a snow white canopy in chairs covered with white slips. A pastor stood in front of a podium with a Bible laying open. Behind him were seven newly dug graves, with seven newly chiseled headstones. "We are all here today...to say good bye to seven of our beloved friends. Co-workers, fighters, heroes. We never really know why the good Lord takes our loved ones away from us, but in order to move on, we must keep our faith, and believe that God has a reason for them to be in his kingdom of Heaven." He began. A woman dressed in black, as they all were sobbed loudly, before covering her mouth with her hand. Another woman beside her pulled her into a hug. The pastor smiled kindly.

"You must believe, my children, that God does not want to hurt you. He felt that the lives of these men were finished here, and that they were needed in Heaven. It is not without reason, that they were taken from us. Before we let the families speak, I would like to read to you, Psalm 23." He said, pausing.

Everyone bowed their heads, and closed their eyes. The pastor took a breath, and began. "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for the sake of His name. Even when I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You have set a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You have anointed my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen."

The woman who had began to sob earlier, stood and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. She walked up to the podium, and the pastor rubbed her back, before stepping aside to let her speak. "Before I begin, I...I'd like to thank everyone for coming. The weather isn't agreeable, and there is a lot of emotions here that I'm sure many of you would rather not be feeling. I'm Cecelia, Kenneth's wife. We..we met in high school, years ago. I was on the track, jumping hurdles, and he had wandered outside, looking for his Chemistry teacher, who doubled as an athletic coach. While I was jumping...I saw him looking at me, and I guess I got distracted, and my foot got caught on a hurdle, and I fell." She smiled slightly, as if reliving the memory.

"He ran over to me and asked if I was okay. I told him I was fine, but he wouldn't let me stand. There was a cut on my knee, so he took out a band-aid, and covered it up, before he lifted me off the ground. He carried me all the way to the nurses office without even knowing my name. I knew that he was a good soul...my kindred spirit. From there, we became friends and fell in love." A few tears fell down her smooth, cocoa colored cheeks. "He was so excited about joining S.T.A.R.S. He was a little concerned as to why he, being a chemist, would be needed on the police force, but..his boss had sought after him, and I guess that was enough to convince him. I don't know what killed my husband out there..or any of these men for that matter. All I know...is that the love of my life has been taken away from me. He wasn't ready to die."

I looked over at Rebecca, who knew Kenneth the most, and she was quickly wiping the tears from her face. When she looked at me, I tried to give her a sympathetic smile. She smiled back, but she wasn't smiling on the inside. Cecelia Sullivan sat down again, and a man stood up and went up to the podium and cleared his throat. "Ah. I am...I was Joseph's older brother. I remember hearing for weeks on end about S.T.A.R.S. this and that, and he always said that it was cause of me, that he joined. We worked on cars when we were younger, and he was hired as a vehicle specialist, so I guess that's what he meant. I still can't believe that he's gone. But I think that he'd be happy, seeing everyone here together, to remember him and the rest of the crew." He cleared his throat again, obviously on the verge of tears. "That's all...thank you." It seemed like there was more he wanted to say, but as soon as he sat back in his seat, he broke down.

Rebecca stood up, and pulled a fresh tissue out of her purse before going up to speak. "It feels kind of wrong for me to speak about Enrico, since I only knew him for a short while. But, I will do my best. When I first joined S.T.A.R.S. I didn't know what to expect. I was anxious, and felt really nervous. I was around all these older guys with guns, and I had practically no experience. But Enrico made me feel comfortable, he made that police station seem like a second home. I think he felt guilty about me being a rookie, out there dealing with...unspeakable evils. It feels wrong, him not being here. He was everyone's leader. I think the guys kind of looked up to him like a father, but always thought of him as a friend..." She stepped back from the podium and wiped her eyes. "So, here's to you captain." She went back to her seat quickly.

Now it was my turn. I stood and flattened my black skirt before going up there in front of all of these people. I recognized some of them, one was Lacy Aiken, Richard's sister. I was about to talk about her brother, who sacrificed himself for me. It felt as if she was boring holes into me with her eyes. "My name's Jill Valentine...I'm a member of the Alpha team. Since Richard was a communications expert, both teams knew him. I'll always see Richard as a hero...he saved my life..I tried to save his, but I couldn't. I know his family is probably full of remorse because of that, and there isn't anything I can really do about it...I'm grateful every day to his parents for raising him so well. He had a habit of always putting everyone else's needs before his own. He was always the heroic type. I never imagined that he would...die just to save me. But I feel both honored and incredibly sad at the same time. I hate that I took someone away from his family and friends. It wasn't my fault directly that he died but if I wasn't there, he might have survived." I was babbling, and had strayed off of my original plan. I glanced up and saw Lacy. Her eyes were filled with tears.

She didn't seem mad at me, though. "I-If I may, I'd like to recite part of a poem that made me think of Richard..

These winter winds possess a frigid chill;  
I sit alone and wonder why you died.  
My eyes, my very soul begins to fill,  
And naught I find that can my grief subside.  
When once upon your strength I so relied,  
I knew without a doubt you'd calm my fears;  
My faith in you could never be denied.  
There's no one now to stop my anguished tears." I walked over to his grave stone, kissed my fingers and pressed them against the top. "Goodbye, Richard." I said, before turning to go back to my seat. A woman was at the podium now, mascara streamed tears fell down her cheeks.

"Forest...oh, God, Forest. I can't believe you're gone. I spent years, devoting myself to you, hoping that one day you'd ask me to marry you. I begged you not to be on this team. I didn't want to lose you, and then you go and die." The woman seemed on the verge of a nervous break down. Someone went up, and pulled her away, back to her seat. An older man, perhaps his father, went up to speak. "Please forgive Lorraine, she's torn apart by this. In case none of you know, I'm Forest's old man. He was the perfect son. He loved everyone, and in turn made everyone love him back. He never gave any problems as a child, and his mother and I knew that he'd grow to be something really _special._ It was a little strange have a sniper as a son, but I remember working on an old truck in the garage one day, and he told me he never wanted to kill a man. He said that even if he went to war, and there were people shooting at him from every which way, he'd try to get them in the leg, or arm, or some place non-lethal." He smiled a bit.

"I didn't get it, I guess. I told him you're supposed to kill people when you're at war. The side that kills the most people, wins. But, he corrected me. He said that if you disabled someone, that they were as good as dead when it came to fighting, so that you didn't actually _have_ to kill, to kill. I never really understood what he meant by that, but I knew that he had a good heart. Every day, I wish that he was still alive. But, like the Pastor said, God must have wanted him up in heaven for a greater cause. I miss you, son."

Quickly, I blotted at my eyes before the tears could even fall. I hated to cry in front of people. I looked around to see if anyone would speak on account of Edward Dewey. He was relatively new to the team, and I had only met him a few times. When no one stood, Chris did. "I guess I'm pulling double duty." He whispered, before going up to the podium. "I was originally supposed to speak for Brad. But since no one from Edward's family is here, I guess I'll do it. To be truthful, I hardly knew Edward. I heard that he would be flying for the Bravo team, and that's it. Considering he knew none of us, and vice versa, it seems like he was a pretty honorable man, to fly into what he knew was a dangerous zone, with complete strangers without a second thought. That has to count for something. It would be downright horrible for anyone _not _to remember his sacrifice." I smiled. He's a good improvisor.

"Now, on to Brad." He chuckled a little bit. "Everyone always gave Brad a hard time. He was the least brave of us, and we thoroughly busted his balls for it on a daily basis. However, he stayed in that chopper, waiting, and hoping that _someone _would turn up. He wanted to save somebody. Anyone. I can imagine that he would be scared of his mind of coming back down, but damn it all, he did. And I'm alive because of it. And Jill, and Barry, and Rebecca are all alive because of him. I'm sure his family remembers him complaining about being called Chickenheart, on more than one occassion. That's not how he met his end. He died a hero. For lack of a better word, he died with a Braveheart. In fact, he warned Jill about a danger so that even if he didn't escape, that she would. He's a hero, in my eyes." 

Chris slowly went back to his seat and I gave him a small but approving smile."And now..." The Pastor began, raising his hands, signaling everyone to stand. "We may say our final goodbyes to our dear friends and family." Everyone moved in a line towards the graves and dropped roses into the newly dug holes. It was horrible. People were breaking down, falling to their knees, crying and screaming. I tugged on Chris's sleeve. He turned to looked at me. "I can't stay here." I whispered. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder and nodded. 

"Okay. Let me just talk to Barry really quick." He replied.

"Is it alright if I meet you at the car?" I asked, feeling a sinking, queasy feeling in my stomach. He nodded, and I turned to leave when Lacy Aiken approached me. _/Oh God. What's she going to say to me?/ _ I wondered. "Jill...I just..I wanted to tell you that I don't blame you for Richie dying." She said slowly, almost painfully.

"Lacy..thank you, but I..I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself." I stumbled, trying to find the right words.

"Thank you. He thought highly of you, really...that's all.." She slowly drifted away to her brothers grave and lingered there. Swallowing deeply, I ran back to Chris's car and jumped in. Breathing heavily, I pulled the lever that lowered the seat and tried to slow my breathing. I was never good at funerals, and being at one for seven of my friends is too much. I looked at my watch and sighed. It was a little after four p.m., and there was a dinner party at Barry Burton's house after the funeral. Glancing at the crowd of people, I was relieved to find Chris coming my way. His once-gelled hair was now soaking wet and flattened. He pulled the door open and jumped in to escape the rain.

"Wish I brought my umbrella with me." He said, drying his face with a tissue. "Are you okay, Jill?" He asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. I was just feeling a bit over whelmed. There were so many people there grieving...I felt like it was my fault." I answered as he started the car.

"Hey, we've talked about this. No one but Umbrella is to blame for this...I liked the poem you read. It was fitting."

"Thanks. I found it online. I had no idea what to say, really. I mean, I really feel horrible about him dying to save me which makes me feel like it was my fault, but--"

"Jill, don't do this again. Don't do this to yourself. I feel the guilt too, but there isn't much we can do, you know? Feeling bad is all we can do."

"You know Lacy, Richard's sister?" He nodded. "She told me that she doesn't blame me for his death."

He glanced over at me momentarily before focusing on the rain-slicked road. "That's good...right?" He said slowly.

"I guess. It didn't make me feel any better, though." I answered.

He shrugged. "You aren't supposed to feel better at funerals. What say we go get changed and have a few drinks before heading to Barry's?"

I couldn't help but smile. "Sure. Let's get plastered."


	2. Chapter 2

No Balm for Grief, Chapter 2  
By: Hotaru  
  
Notes: Chapter 2! OmG! I hope the funeral seemed alright. The last one I went to...ugh, the Pastor sucked so much. Smiling away as he talks about my poor, dead aunt. Bastard. I forgot Kevin. Blame residentevilfan.com (don't hate, Roody, don't hate). I looked up their character thing, and Kevin wasn't listed in the Ø or 1 section. But, my apologies. Let's assume had no family and everyone was too busy grieving to remember him. :p~~

_To the reviewers:_

Peeping Shadow-Monkey- Thank you! I wasn't sure if it was sad or not..but I guess it was :p I just chose Jill's scenario, I guess cause I played it first. What's better, getting eaten by a shark or a giant snake..? 

Kez- Poor Kevin. It's hard to try to figure out what they were like, and such with such little information, but, eh. I did what I could!

Tek- This is what keeps me going! ;_; Awesome. Thanks, it means a lot. *tear* Like I said above, the last funeral I went to sucked. Not that it should be..good and enjoyable but at least...ah hell, I'm babbling. Martha's on!

Panny- You're a jerk for the shyt you wrote on cosplay.com

Project: Freak- More of the Bravo team eh? Hm...not a bad idea. Everyone says how they want to see more of the Bravo team. I forgot Kevin. I can't believe I missed a character but I'm too lazy to edit it. Sigh. I don't know anything about him, though. Hou.

Hunk_Uk-How can you bash Brad when he's dead? That's so heartless. It's kind of weird, cause like...there's the few months difference, but it doesn't seem like that. It seems like RE 0 and 1 happens, then RE 2 and 3. Ah, I don't know. This is what you come up with when you want a change of pace, and can't sleep at night.

I had changed into a loose fitting sweat shirt, jeans, and boots. Quite a change from my funeral suit. I met Chris in my mini-living room and we left together to go to a bar. I hate bars, but I didn't feel like going to some kitchsy diner either.

"What time does the party start?" I asked as we drove around town.

"Uh, I talked to Barry, and he said Linda'd be making dinner as soon as they got back, so like...six-ish." Chris replied.

"She's cooking by herself?"

"Yeah. I don't know if the kids help much."

"They're still pretty young."

Barry had two little girls at home, Polly and Moira. I didn't know which was older, or how old they were even. They probably won't be around the "party" much anyway. When we got to the bar, Chris opened the door to the bar for me, and I walked inside and sat at a table near the window. It was the brightest spot in the whole place. "The Blarney Stone?" I say skeptically, reading the sign above the bar.

"Yeah, a good old Irish pub." Chris replied as a waitress walked over to us.

"What can I get ya?" She asked.

"Ah...I'll have a...shot or two of scotch." Chris said, suprising me.

"And for you ma'me?"

"Some amaretto I guess." It was the only alcohol I drank, and it still burned my throat on the way down. "Do they have Irish lagers or anything?" I asked Chris.

"I don't know. Maybe, but it's probably expensive for some ridiculous reason. You figure..it's an Irish pub, they should have Irish beer as the..main beer."

"Are you Irish at all?"

"Don't think so. Maybe..you?"

I nodded. "My dad was three-quarters or something. It's confusing." I reply. "So, who's going to Barry's?"

"I think Claire said she'd go, and she's gonna bring Leon along...Rebecca's probably going.." He stared, counting off on his fingers.

"Carlos should be too. Even though he didn't know anyone he said he'd try to make it." Chris made a face. It was brief, gone in an instant but I saw it. I think he was jealous. But he didn't have to be. They both saved me and I loved them both the same.

"I doubt Forest's girlfriend'll be there, she could hardly talk..Joseph's brother should be coming, along with Kenneth's wife. Um.."

"Here you go." The waitress returned. Two shots of Scotch for Chris, two shots of amaretto for me. He picked up a glass. 

"To our fallen comrades." He toasted. I lifted my glass, clinked it with his and downed the smooth, amber liquid.

"Ahh.." I sighed, squeezing my eyes. Chris chuckled at me. "I don't drink much, if you couldn't tell."

--*--

After a few drinks at the bar, Chris dropped me off at my place so I could get ready for the funeral party. I didn't want to wear the same suit so I rummaged through my closet. I didn't have many dress clothes in black. There was a spaghetti strap black number that was a bit inappropriate for the occassion. I had a sweater I could put over it, though, so I put that on. There were bags forming under my eyes so I applied some makeup to cover it up. It didn't seem like I was drunk or anything, and I wasn't. Though I might be by the end of the night...

Chris showed up at around a quarter to six. He had changed from his tux into a dark blue dress shirt, tie, and black slacks. "You clean up well." I remarked, as I climbed into his car. 

"You look nice too." He complimented. "I wasn't sure what to wear. I figured dark colors would be most appropriate."

"Yeah, that was my thinking too. God, I wish it would stop raining." I said, looking up at the sky as he headed off to the Burton house.

"Better than snow." He noted. "No shoveling, just wet socks." I smiled and turned on the radio to distract my mind.

_"Destiny grabs me, 'Here' is becoming blurred but don't you despair, you can hear it. That place is calling. Entangled in the dry wind, it takes you away with it. Honey, so sweet grasping at my boundless dreams with both hands. I want to fly, waitin' for sunrise--_" The radio sang.*

"Now that I think about it, we should have arrived early to help Linda out." I said half to myself.

"Barry would have called if they needed anything. Don't worry about it."

There was no more talking until we got to Barry's house. It seemed that we were the first to arrive. Linda was still in the kitchen, so I went to help her out. Her two young daughters were in there, running about probably annoying the hell out of her. "Hey Lin, need a hand?" I greeted.

"Jill! You suprised me!" She said, pulling me into a quick hug. "Um...sure, keep stirring this, while I check the stuff in the oven." She said, handing me a wooden spoon.

"Gravy?" I asked, looking in the pot. 

"Yep. Secret recipe that Barry _adores_. You should have seen him when I said I'd be making it for the turkey." She chuckled a bit.

"I wish I had offered to help you, I didn't realize you'd be doing the cooking by yourself."

"Oh, don't worry about it--Polly, please watch out." Her daughter ran past her legs and out of the kitchen. "Moira, please occupy your sister until Mommy's done."

"Okay!" The little girl replied, scurrying away.

"The gravy's a bit tricky. It'll burn to the bottom so every so often, just scrape at the pot with the spoon." Linda instructed me. Nodding, I turned to see where Chris was. He was still talking to Barry in the livingroom. 

"How many people are you expecting?" I asked.

"Oh..let's see...counting Barry and me, eleven or so. I hope the turkey's enough to feed everyone. I considered just buying one of those six foot long heros or something.."

"I'm sure that everyone will be happier having a good homecooked meal. I haven't really felt like cooking anything, so this is a big treat to me."

"Well good. A girl needs good food."

Chris and Barry entered the kitchen. "Hey ladies." Barry greeted, smiling at me. I hadn't forgiven him for betraying me, but I didn't let him on about that fact. I smiled back. "How's it goin'?" I asked.  


"Alright, I guess. The others should be getting here pretty soon." Barry replied, glancing at his watch.

"Did you put the soda and wine in the coolers like I asked?" Linda questioned.

"Oh, damn. I forgot, I'll do it right now." Barry answered sheepishly.

"What can I do?" Chris asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"If you could, take over stirring for Jill, and she can help me set the tables." 

I handed the spoon to Chris and snickered. "Don't get any on your shirt." I warned, before grabbing a pile of dishes and following Linda into the dining room.

"Now, we can seat eight here, that leaves four people to eat in the living room." Linda said, biting her finger nails.

"..I'm sure Chris wouldn't mind eating in there with me. His sister and her friend probably won't mind either. I'd hate to not be hospitable to everyone else. We know each other better than they do." I said.

"Ah, good idea! We can always rotate once we're done eating so everyone can talk." She went back into the kitchen to get the silverware. _/She's like an everyday Martha Stewart./_

--*--

It was about an hour into the party, and everyone was finishing up their dinner. Barry had gotten seconds of turkey and poured the gravy on thick. "You should probably put it in a jar so I can have it more often." He told his wife, winking.

"Gravy isn't exactly healthy, Bar. You aren't in top shape, so no more gravy." Linda retorted, patting his pot belly.

"I'm working on it, Linda!"

Claire indeed brought her friend Leon along. I met him once or twice, and all I knew about him was that he helped Claire out of Raccoon City. He seemed nice, but timid, especially around Chris. "I wonder if the kids are sleeping or what." Chris mumbled, not exactly enjoying himself.

"With all this talking? Please. They're probably having a tea party or something." Claire replied. 

"I hate tea." I added, hopefully to keep the conversation going. 

"Tea's good for you." Leon said, finally speaking up.

"I know, but...the taste just isn't...I don't know."

"The food was good, wasn't it?" Claire said, the silence was getting to her too.

"Yeah, Linda sure is a great cook." Leon added.

"I haven't had a meal like that since..." Chris began. "Before Mom and Dad died." Claire finished. 

"I haven't cooked anything in awhile. Except like...soup. I'm getting sick of it though." I contributed.

"I hope you haven't filled up too much! I've got apple and pumpkin pie for dessert!" Linda called cheerfully.

"Yay, pumpkin pie!" Claire exclaimed. Chris's eyes flashed over to her. Leon was chuckled slightly. "_What?_" Claire asked, seeing Chris staring.

"I thought you hated pumpkin pie." He said.

"I used to but once you're deprived of things, they start to grow on you." Claire answered, sticking her nose into the air.

"She's been dieting." Leon whispered. Chris's brow twitched. Uh-oh.

"Why are you dieting? You don't need to lose any weight." He said lightly.

"It's more to adjust my eating habits, Christopher. Relax."

"Why don't I get us something to drink. Chaperone me, Chris." I stood up, and extended my elbow so he'd come along.

He was kind of pissed off. "Chris, what's the problem?" I asked as we looked over their selection of alcohol.

"I don't like that Leon. He's a little _too _comfortable with Claire." He replied, glancing into the living room where they were laughing together.

"Are they dating?"

"No, not that I know of. She's never really had a real boyfriend before. She doesn't know how to handle it."

"I don't think there's anything to be afraid of Chris. They're friends. They might be flirting a little, but you and I flirt all the time and nothing's happened, right?" He nodded and poured some wine into four cups.

"We're going to have a toast." Barry said, appearing behind us. "Just come into the dining room for a little bit, okay?" We both nodded and brought the drinks to Claire and Leon.

"Ladies and Gentlemen...friends..." Barry began, his loud voice reaching everyone's ears. "We're here to give one final farewell to seven of our comrades. I'd like to lift our glasses now, and we can all say a little something. Then we can get drunk with no worries." There were a few chuckles. "I guess I'll start. I lost some good men...some _great _ men. Life won't be the same without 'em." He said, tilting his head back and taking a gulp of wine.

"I'll go." I was suprised that Carlos finally spoke up. He had snuck in before and was talking to Rebecca the entire time. "I didn't have the fortune to know any of these guys, but from what I hear, they were excellent people. And I'll drink to their memory." He said, winking and downing his cup of wine.

"To my captain." Rebecca added, raising her glass.

"To my brother." The elder Frost brother continued.

"To my husband." Cecelia said.

"To my hero." I said, finally.

"To Chickenheart." Chris said, getting a few chuckles.

"To our friends."

There was some clinking of glasses before everyone drank their wine. I went back to the living room with Chris, away from the noise. Carlos and Rebecca followed us to talk with Claire and Leon. "None of you have really met, so let me introduce you all." Chris said. Claire and Leon stood up. "Rebecca and...Carlos, right? This is my sister Claire." The two shook hands with her politely. "And this is Leon, we met in Raccoon City." Claire said. More hand shaking.

"Oh, and this is Carlos, we met in Raccoon, too." I said. Carlos shook no hands but he did tip a imaginary hat.

"Good, now we're all introduced. So, I hope I'm not crashing the party or anything." Carlos said, sitting on the arm of the couch.

"If you can even call it that.." Rebecca added solemnly.

"Don't worry about no one knowing you." I said, leaning back into the couch. "A lot of people are meeting for the first time any way."

"Oh, okay. It just seemed like everyone knew each other...or at least they knew the guys that died."

"Oh, Carlos." I said, remembering a thought. "It turns out that Claire and Leon were in Raccoon City about the same time we were."

"No kidding?! I'm suprised we ddn't run into each other, then." Carlos said with a laugh. 

"We might have accidentally shot you if we did. Hell, I almost shot Claire when I first got to the city." Leon said, and I could feel Chris glaring at him with a 'You almost shot my sister?!' look on his face. Claire must have noticed so she laughed lightly.

"Yeah, I just scared him is all. I pulled open a door when I was being chased by a zombie, and I _thought _he was aiming at me. I guess his cop intuition was helpful." She added quickly. 

"Chris and I never actually were in the city. Just in the outskirts, right, Chris?" Rebecca piped in.

"Ah, yeah. That stupid mansion...that place was dreadful. Covered with dust, and crawling with zombies and unopenable doors. It was a nightmare." Chris answered from beside me.

"I'll drink to that." Carlos jeered, finishing off his wine.

"At least it's over, right?" Claire said with a slight smile.

"Not without severe losses on our side." I frowned. Why did I always have to turn the conversation downhill?

Joseph's brother entered the room with a cup in one hand and a plate with some pie in the other. "Hey, this is where you're all hiding out. Linda's put out the dessert if ya'll want some." He said, gesturing to the dining room.

"Sure, I'll have some." Claire said, standing up from the love seat.

"I'll give ya a hand." Leon offered.

"You want some, Jill?" Chris questioned. I nodded, and he went into the other room. Joseph's brother sat across from me and smiled slightly. I couldn't remember his name for the life of me.

"That poem you read today was really nice." He complimented. _/I wish I had wrote something original. Everyone's complimenting my plaguirism./ _

"Thanks. It's not mine, but...I thought it would be an appropriate way to express my emotions." I answered monotonously. "I'm sorry, I can't seem to remember your name. Joey talked about you all the time, but he always referred to you as 'my bro' or something." He laughed and nodded.

"That's just like him...or it was. It's Raian." He answered.

"Oh, that's right. Yeah, he called you Rai too." He nodded again and took a bite of his pie. "So what's going on in there?" I asked, jerking my thumb towards the dining room.

"Ah, Linda made some coffee to help sober us up. Just...reminiscing I guess."

"I feel bad that Richard's family didn't come." I said sadly.

"His sister was real upset. They probably are having their own services with their family, and none of us really know them anyway." Raian replied.

"Yeah. I think she's mad at me. She said at the funeral that she didn't blame me, but I can't help but feel like she does."

"That's natural. You'll get over it. Once, when me and Joey were little, we were running from something I think..and we hoped over a fence, and part of my shorts got caught on the top, and he pulled me down and it tore my knee open." I hissed, imagining what that would have felt like. "Yeah, and he started crying and he carried me home, even though it would have been faster if I walked. There was a huge circle of blood on his shirt. Our mom was hysterical."

"How long did he feel guilty?" I asked.

"Until after the stitches were taken out. He gave me his allowance, and bought me ice cream and stuff so I wouldn't get mad at him. But, what I'm trying to say is...you'll get over it Jill. This is a bit more extreme, but you'll grow to realize that things happen for a reason. Not to sound preachy but maybe there's more you have to do here, you know?"

I nodded silently, and the others returned with the pie. Chris handed me a big slice of pumpkin pie topped with a glob of whipped cream. "Looks great." I commented, picking up the fork. I felt bad knowing that Raian's brother died in the forest, before facing anything really...dangerous. I mean, the cerebrus were killers, no doubt, but...I won't ever tell Raian exactly how his brother died. It would pain him to know the truth, I think. 

Chris and I stayed at the party until around ten. He wasn't really drunk, but I offered to drive at least myself home. Not that I didn't trust him, he just needed a little nap. "Thanks for the rides today, Chris." I said, when I got to my apartment.

"Ah, no problem. Anytime. My wheels are your wheels." He replied, climbing over to the driver's seat.

"Good. I plan on running away to Mexico, and it'd be a lot easier with your car." I smiled. He smiled back.

"Night, Jill."

"Night."

*Final Notes: There I go, translation J-Pop lyrics and using them. Hehe. That one was Honey from L'arc~en~ciel. I tried to find the translation for Anemone but found nothing but crap and fanfiction. @_@ I'm listening to Honey now. Makes me think of bees. Honey so sweet! Raian=Ryan. Go odd spelling! I found the translation for Anemone:

Surrounded by the kindness of the dear people,   
I take off towards you.  
With those shining memories engraved in my heart,  
the wind pushes me to the road which continues to the port.

Tell me that wouldn't be appropriate! ò_ó Anyway, listen to Honey: http://www.songjapan.com/listen.php?id=760  



	3. Chapter 3

No Balm For Grief 3

By: Hotaru

Notes: So, people seem to be liking this. Yee. It's all good. No J-pop in this chapter! Someone asked, I think about a song from a previous chapter or something...but I couldn't find it. Anyway. 

_To the reviewers:_

Hartman (for Chapter 1)- Ok?

Scoobysnax- It's all good. And yes, you're right, Japanese music _does _rock! I've been listening to it while writing lately, and then I looked for the translations of the songs I really liked to see if any where appropriate for the fic. I could have just substitiuted Anemone instead of Honey for the last chapter but...oh well. Ready Steady don't hold me back! Ready steady give me good luck! Ready, steady never look back! Let's get started, Ready, steady go!

Peeping Shadow-Monkey- I had a dream once that there were monkeys trying to kill me O_o;; Glad you're enjoying it. I actually forget exactly what happened with the Yawn...but it would have been awkward to have Chris all mushy-mushy about Richard. I played Jill's scenario first. So that's the one I guess. The serum! THE SERUM!!! AIii. Ok. My head hurts now.

Tek- The love of the Japanese music is spreading. My plan is working. Mwuahahah!

Kez- It's my goal to make people cry. If someone sheds a tear while reading this...my goal has been accomplished. 

I trugged up the stairs to my apartment, which was completely dark. I lived above an old woman named Ms. Bass, she sold the upstairs of her house when her children moved out. I guess she was lonely. Kicking off my heels, I went into the bathroom and turned on the water for a shower. I went into my bedroom, which was across the hall and changed out of my dress and pulled on my bathrobe. The rain had slowed a bit, but it was really windy out now. The windows in my room shook. I'm sure they'll be waking me up during the night. 

Stepping into the shower, I shivered as the hot water hit my cold body. I looked through the transparant shower curtain and bit my lip. Why did I leave the bathroom door open? I reached out and tried to close it with my hand. _/Stubborn lock.../ _It wouldn't close, so I just left it alone. After awhile, I heard what sounded like the stairs groaning. _/That had to be my imagination./ _I tried to convince myself, but of course, I was still scared out of my mind. As I turned off the water, the knobs squeaked. I hissed, and opened the curtain silently. If anyone was in my house, I didn't want them knowing I was on to them. My gun was in my room, and I couldn't risk going in there without knowing where they were.

I pulled on my robe, and wrapped a towel around my head. I put my ear against the door and listened. There were light foot steps. I closed my eyes. _/You're prepared for this. You can take on anybody if you use your head./_ I told myself. I looked around for anything I could use as a weapon. I settled on a can of Lysol. I could blind them at least. Swallowing deeply, I opened the door a little bit and peeked out. I looked down towards the living room first, and saw nothing. The light in the kitchen was on now. Biting my lip, I stepped out into the hallway, shivering when the cool air hit my still wet skin. I heard someone in there, rummaging around. _/I can still get my gun.../_ I would have, but there was a spot in my room where the window used to leak so the floor boards got weak, and everytime I walked over them, they squeaked loudly.

I was almost at the kitchen, so I was moving slowly. Pressing my back against the wall, I took a breath, and stepped into the room. I gasped, and dropped the can of Lysol. "Ms. Bass, what are you doing?" I asked, slightly annoyed. _/This old woman scared the crap out of me. Why does she have to wander into my apartment?/ _

"Oh, there you are, dearie." She turned and smiled at me. "I was just baking some cookies and I brought you some." She answered. 

"It's late...couldn't it have waited until the morning?" I asked, picking the can up from the floor and putting it on the small, round kitchen table. 

"They're best right out of the oven. I was looking for some tupperware to keep them in so they stay soft."

"Don't worry about that, you should get to bed." I said, leading her to the door on the right wall. There was a staircase there, behind the door that led down to her kitchen. I didn't keep it locked in case there was an emergency, but she never came over and scared me like this.

"You have some of those cookies now with some milk, alright? And tell me how you liked them in the morning." Ms. Bass said, as she started making her way down the stairs. 

"I will, Ms. Bass. Goodnight." I closed the door, and sighed. What kind of old woman is up at eleven at night baking cookies?

--*--

Some time after the funeral, I started my job hunt. S.T.A.R.S. no longer existed...Raccoon City didn't even exist any more. I had the classifieds layed out on the kitchen table, and a mug of cocoa next to them. A red Sharpie was in my hand. I had a dilemma. I didn't know what I wanted to do. Being a cop...I had all the training and requirements, but I didn't want to get mixed up in being a cop again. _/The best way to look at this is to find what I'm good at...there aren't many listenings for sharp shooters. Maybe I could do private security or something./_ This whole job searching bit was starting to get to me, so I capped the marker and gulped the rest of the cocoa. Reaching for the phone, I dialed Chris's number. 

Ring.

Ring.

Ring...beep. It was his answering machine.

"Hi, this is Chris. I'm unavailable at the moment, probably because I'm saving the world or something. Leave me a message and I'll try to get back to you." Beeeep.

"That's really lame, Chris. I was just calling to see how you were doing, and if you found a job yet. The only thing I've found is stuff for private security and I didn't know if I'd want to be a cop again. I guess I just wanted some advice. Give me a call when you get this. Bye." I hung up, disappointed. He's usually at home during the day. I picked up the phone, and dialed in Rebecca's number. She answered after two rings. "Hi, Jill! What's up?" She greeted cheerfully.

"Hi, nothing much. Ah, what are you up to?" I questioned.

"Mm, at the moment, nothing. I'm trying to convince Carlos to come with me to a karaoke bar, though." She giggled. That girl's in love.

"Oh, yeah? If he agree's, let me go with you guys so I can laugh."

"Even if he did agree to go, he'd have to be _pretty _drunk to actually sing."

"That's what beer is for. Anyway, you want to get some lunch or something? I'm kind of bored, and feel like I need to talk."

"Oh, yeah, sure. Is everything okay?"

"Mm-hm. I'm fine. How about we meet at...that new Japanese place that opened by the water?" I suggested. 

"Sure. What time?" She asked. 

"One?'

"Okay! I'll see you there at one."

"Great, see you."

I hung up the phone and glanced at my watch. It was only 12:30. I had a half hour to kill. Pulling on my jacket, I grabbed my bag and headed outside. The October air was chilling. I started walking down the street towards the train station. I could get to the restaurant, I think it was called _Hana-bi_, in about ten minutes, meaning I had twenty extra.The neighborhood was deserted. The local kids were still at school, so there was no one on the streets. It kind of felt like Raccoon City. But it wasn't, and I had to stop thinking about that God-forsaken place if I was ever going to move on with my life.

Stopping at a small store, I bought a newspaper and a bottle of water, before continuing towards the train station. I half-read the newspaper on the way. There was a article about a series of attacks nearby. I folded the top of the page so I could read the article on the train. Closing the paper, I stared straight ahead of me. A man was walking, covered in black clothing. _/He looks a bit out of place./ _I thought to myself. He stood out against the green grass and falling leaves. I tried to get a look at his face, but he was staring at the ground. As he passed, he turned his body so he didn't touch me at all. "Excuse me." He whispered, shoving his hands deeper in his coat pockets.

I watched him walk down the side walk for a few seconds before hurrying to catch the train. 

Sitting on the plastic chair, I opened the newspaper to the article about those neighborhood attacks. "Earlier this week, there was a string of break in's and attacks in the peaceful neighborhood of West Creek. There were three break in's over the course of four days. In two out of the three attacks, the home owners were at home. The attacker used some sort of chemical to put them to sleep, and binded their hands with leather belts before stealing jewelery, money, and in some cases, electronics. John Watson, one of the victims, had this to say: "It happened so fast. I didn't even notice he was in the house until I saw him home at me. I tried to fight back, but he grabbed my arms and twisted them behind my back, and covered my mouth with a cloth and some kind of chemical. I couldn't even warn my wife before I was knocked out." There were no seriously violent attacks, however. Residents of West Creek are advised to keep their doors and windows locked tight, and remove any hidden keys for the time being. "We had a key hidden under one of those fake garden rocks. I guess that's how he got in." A woman, who wanted to remain anonymous said, commenting on the break in in her home."

Closing the paper, I looked out the window. I didn't know if Ms. Bass had a spare key, but I was going to check as soon as I got home. I got off the train after a few minutes, and walked towards the pharmacy. I had run out of aspirin and band-aids. The store had a unique smell to it. Kind of like new carpet. I grabbed a red basket and walked up and down the aisles. I tossed a new hair brush into the basket and turned to look at the hair dye's. Maybe I should change my hair color...nah. I looked at my watch. Quarter to one, better pick up the pace. Grabbing the bandaids, and aspirin, I made my way to the registers. Impulsively, I grabbed a small bag of candy corn and tossed it into the basket.

"That'll be $10.53." The clerk said, after ringing everything up. I gave her eleven dollars, and tossed the change into my bag, before heading to the restaurant. I couldn't help but wonder if that guy I saw had something to do with the string of break in's. I could be completely irrational, thinking into this way too much, but...

I got to the restaurant around one o'clock and sat at a table for two. Putting my bag on the floor, I folded my hands and waited for Rebecca. A car pulled up, and she climbed out of the passenger seat, waved to the driver, and ran into the restaurant. "Hey, sorry I'm late." She said with a sigh, sitting across from me.

"Don't worry about it." I said, waving my hand. A waitress in a kimono brought us two menu's and took our drink orders. "So who gave you the lift?"

"Oh...Carlos." She said, blushing slightly.

"Oh, _really? _You two seem to be hitting it off." I said with a smirk.

"Yeah. He's really sweet. He actually offered to take me to lunch, too, but I turned him down."

"Aw, you didn't have to for me. I just was bored of sitting by myself at home."

"It's ok, I wanted to. So what did you want to talk about?" She asked, looking at her menu.

"Have you found a new job yet?" I questioned. I had already decided to get their chicken teriyaki dish.

"No. I haven't really been looking. I should, though. Why?"

"Well, I'm having a bit of trouble deciding what I want to do. Like, should I be a cop again, or try something new?"

"I don't know, what do you like doing?"

I shrugged, as the waitress returned. Rebecca ordered some kind of salmon dish, and I ordered my chicken. The waitress took our menus, bowed, and hurried to the kitchen.

"I don't know. All I'm good at is cop work..." I sighed. "Maybe I should call the precinct and see if they have openings."

"I can't really give you advice on what you'd enjoy doing. I mean...we were all cops, and it sort of makes sense for us to go back that, you know? But, at the same time, none of us want to do it ever again because of what we went through _because _ we were cops."

"Yeah. What's Chris doing, do you know?" She smiled.

"I think he's being interviewed at the police station today."

"Ahh. I called him, and he wasn't home. I didn't know if he had gotten a job yet or not."

"We'll see."

We ate lunch together, chatting as casual friends would. She went on about how great Carlos was. To be honest, I had no idea that he was her type. She seemed like the innocent type who'd like a guy who wore sweaters and collected trains or something. Carlos was...kind of like a renegade. He left Umbrella, and was just you're typical bad boy. 

"--but it's not like I didn't have an interest in Billy."

I had stopped listening. "What was that?" I questioned.

"Billy Coen. He had this..._thing_ about him, you know? Like, he was kind of a jerk and would be the type I couldn't see myself with but...he kind of was appealing too." She was a teenager in love, that's all.

"Where's he now?" I asked. I never did know the full story about that guy. 

"Oh, I don't know. We went our seperate ways...I don't know if I'll ever even see him again." She sounded sad.

"If he wants to..he'll find you."

The waitress brought us our check, and some kind of candy on a white sushi plate. I finished up my food and glanced at the check. "Ee...almost forty bucks. Let's just each toss in a twenty, and leave the change for a tip." I said, opening my purse.

"Sure, that's good. But, the food was worth it. Never had a better taking piece of fish." Rebecca commented, patting her stomach.

"Sure was. So, is Carlos coming to pick you up?" I asked, hoping to catch a ride home. I had forgotten about those break-ins, and I kept imagining Ms. Bass being tied up helplessly.

"Yeah, he told me to call him before I was done. I guess I should now." She said with a sheepish grin.

I took one of the gummi candy's and opened the wrapper. I figured it would be apple flavored, since there was a cute little apple drawn on it. Apple, it was.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I whispered, to give her some privacy.

"Wait, do you need a ride home?" Rebecca asked, covering the mouthpiece of her cell phone.

"If it's not too much trouble, that'd be great." I answered with a smile. If I was going to put up with their lovey-dovey behavior, I might as well get something from it.

--*--

I knocked on the door to Ms. Bass's apartment. "Ms. Bass? Are you in there?" I called loudly. I tried to look through the windows, but they were covered with curtains. _/Dammit./ _Hopefully, she kept the door to the kitchen stairway open, so I could go down there and make sure she was just out. I fumbled with the keys, trying to find the right one when I heard a chilling voice behind me.

"Excuse me...I'm trying to find the train station."

I turned slowly. It was the man from before. What's with this guy?! "Ah...right. You keep taking this street here, to the left, all the way up, past the store, and take a right at the light. You should be able to find it really easily." I said shakily.

"Thank you. Have a nice day." He turned, and jogged down the steps, and out of the small yard. I watched him, until he was out of sight before I practically kicked my door down, once it was open. Double-locking the door, I ran upstairs, into the kitchen, and down the stairs. "Ms. Bass, it's Jill. I'm coming in." I said, pushing the door open.

The little apartment seemed empty. It was quiet, and nothing seemed to be out of place. I sighed in relief, and checked all the rooms for the little old woman. There were cookies in a clear tupperware container on the counter in the kitchen, and a long haired cat lounging in the living room. Satisfied that she was okay, I went back up to my apartment.

_/I'm over reacting to this. That guy might have just been visiting a friend or something, and needed to get home. But if he was visiting someone, wouldn't they have told him where the train was? But I saw his face, so I could recognize him again. Just need to be careful./_

Going to my bedroom with the phone, I layed down and dialed Chris's number. After awhile, he anwered. "Yello?" He sounded cheerful. Maybe he got the job.

"Hey, stranger. How's it going?" I greeted, standing up to get the mail.

"Not bad. I went for a interview today, and I think I nailed it."

"Really? What job?"

"Cop extraordinare. I know, you don't have to tell me. I was iffy about going back to the job too."

"You can read my mind. I actually called before to talk to you about jobs."

Pulling open the door, I opened the mailbox and pulled out a handful of white envelopes. "Oh yeah? You looking for something?" Chris asked, as I made my way back upstairs.

"Yeah. I was thinking about doing something security related, but I don't know." I replied, getting to my room again.

"Jill just do what you have to do. If being a cop will support you until you find something else you really want to do, then I say do it. Hey, we might even be partners!"

"You sound pretty optimistic about that interview."

"Yeah, I think I made a good impression. I left the stuff about zombies and stuff out, but they had me go out to a shooting range, and I must say, I impressed the hell out of them."

"What excuse did you give for your expertise?"

"That my dad was a gun collector and we'd go in the back yard and shoot soda cans every night."

"Nice cover. Are they looking for officers?"

"They mentioned they were sort of short handed, but never said they were _actively _seeking new recruits." He said.

"Eh. How'd you get your interview?" I questioned.

"Barry set it up, actually. His wife was friends with the wife of a friend of the captain or something."

"Oh. I'm just wondering if I should even try to get an interview."

"Why not? You don't want to spend all your savings on food, and your bills right? I'll call Barry, and see if he can call in another favor for you, okay?"

"I don't want to put Barry out or anything--"

"Jill, don't worry. He _owes _you, remember? He owes you _big time._" He was right.  


"Alright. You can call Barry."

"Good! I'll call you back in a little bit, kay?"

"Sure. Talk to you later."

--*--

The next few hours flew by like minutes. Things always seemed to move fast when something bad happened. Chris called me back a few minutes later to tell me that Barry was in the hospital. He picked me up, and we drove to the hospital as fast as we could without breaking the law. He didn't know what happened, just that Linda had answered, sobbing uncontrollably about how Barry had chest pains.

"Do they think it was a heart attack?" I asked, as we sat in the waiting room.

"Probably." Chris replied, nervously tapping his fingers.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"I don't know. We'll see, I guess."

I started biting my nails, nervously. I hadn't seen Linda, or the kids, or even a doctor to explain what was going on. _/We just had a funeral, I'm not looking forward to another one./ _The idea of Barry dying...it seemed foreign almost. I mean, the jack ass set me up, and could have gotten me killed, but I've never wished death upon him. Maybe because he was a family man, and it wouldn't be right to take a father away from his kids. Chris had told me on several occassions that not having his parents growing up really affected him. Sure, he turned out great, but I'm sure he keeps his pain hidden. 

I began tracing the stitching in my jeans out of boredom. Chris wrapped an arm around my shoulders, which was kind of suprising. "I just hope he's okay." He sighed.

"Don't worry, Chris. He's a fighter, right?" I replied.

"Yeah.." He stood up, and looked down the hallway. "Hey, there's Linda. She's talking to the doctor." I stood up to follow him down the hall.

"Linda, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" Chris said, comforting the older woman.

"Yeah, I'm doing alright. So, what is it doc? His heart?" Linda questioned.

"Do..do you mind if these people are here?" The doctor asked, gesturing to Chris and I.

"No, I don't. Please, what's wrong with my husband?" Lina persisted.

"Well, he had a severe heart attack." The doctor began.

"Oh God." Linda gasped, covering her mouth.

"We did all that we could, but the truth is...he may never wake up again. You might have to consider whether or not you want heroic measures taken if he starts to...if his heart stops."

_/Barry's going to die...? This is so unreal. It didn't sink in. The doctor wants Linda to sign a DNR (do not recessitate).../_ "What about a transplant or something? Isn't there anything you can do??" Linda begged.

"There's a long list on the transplant list. There's a slight chance that your husband _will _wake up, but we can't be sure if he'll be the same person. During heart attacks, there's a loss of blood flow, which means there can be some brain damage. We'll be performing a cat scan soon, and we'll see if there's even any brain activity now. This is why I want you to consider signing a do not recessitate order. It will limit his suffering." The doctor said, as if he was reading from a text book. I wonder how many times he's had to give such bad news to people.

"...Chris, what should I do?" Linda cried. Chris held her in a tight embrace, and looked at me with a frown.

"I can't make that decision for you Linda. He's _you're _husband, before he's my captain and friend. Do what you think is right." Chris replied.

"What do you think Barry would choose for you?" I asked, maybe that would help.

"Oh, we've never talked about things like this. I didn't think we had to. He's only 38 years old.." Linda cried against Chris. The poor woman. Losing her husband after such a short time. 

"I won't rush you in your decision, but if his health takes a turn for the worse, we'll need you to decide." The doctor said, before walking down the hall.

"Oh, God. I don't know if I can do this, Chris. I feel so overwhelmed." Linda said, breathing heavily.

"I'll get you something to drink." I offered, running down the hall to buy a bottle of water. _/There's still a chance that he'll wake up. He can survive this. He has to./_


	4. Chapter 4

No Balm For Grief 4

By: Hotaru

Notes: I think I was getting away from the angsty-ness in the past two chapters, so I lay on the grief now! I'm so used to being kind to the characters and everything, and I'm not used to writing this sort of thing! x_x But you seem to be liking it, so let's hope I do good. Everyone, all together now! _Banzai!!!! _

_To the Reviewers:_

Tek: You know what's made me cry? Getting a music box from my boyfriend that plays our song...that's it.

ScoobySnax: I can't believe I never knew about songjapan. They's the greatest! And sure, Barry can die, everyone can die! The question is...will he?

Peeping Shadow: Yeah, bad stuff in the RE world. I entered to win a bunch of Outbreak stuff. I probably won't win. Tear. My glasses are dirty. :/

Project Freak: I'm glad. Sorry I haven't updated lately!

Wanny-Panny: It's about time, wench. He's just protective of her. Like Ki is of us, right? Gravy....haaaaa. That made me laugh.

Chris and I stayed at the hospital with Linda for several hours. There was no change in Barry's condition by eight that night, so Chris practically forced me to go home. He said the others would be showing up, and Linda would have plenty of shoulders to cry on. As usual, my apartment was dark. I saw a few lights on in Ms. Bass's apartment, so I knew she was home. I had Chris promise to call if there was any change with Barry but I doubted there would be. He'd most likely stay, hooked up to some breathing machine in the I.C.U. until Linda didn't have the strength to keep him alive anymore.

I made myself a peanut butter sandwich, and turned on the news shortly after I got home, with the phone by my side. 

"We've been telling the residents of West Creek lately, to keep your eyes open and your doors locked. Well now, we've got _another _reason. A man was severely wounded after a break-in today. The attacker, and the manner of the break-in followed the routine of the man we've dubbed the West Creek Attacker. Only this time, the attacker got violent. We go now, live to West Creek with Nina Paieya. Nina." I subconsciously chewed my thumbnail as the picture switched to some where in the neighborhood I recognized.

"Thank you, Joy. I'm standing here in West Creek, a seemingly quiet neighborhood, until a few weeks ago when a string of break-ins caused fear in the residents. This time, the victim was brutally attacked. Doctors we spoke with said that the victim was suffering from internal injuries, and several broken bones. We're not sure if he's still in surgery as of late, but an eyewitness said, quote, 'I didn't think he was alive.'"

I shivered, and wondered if Ms. Bass was aware of the dangers lurking in our neighborhood. Pulling the blanket from my lap, I went to the kitchen, and down the staircase. Before opening the door, I listened. There was movement, for sure, but something didn't seem right. I went back up the stairs and got my gun from my bedroom. Loading in a few bullets, I took a shaky breath. _/Should I call the cops? Take him on myself?/_ I was nervous. This was the first time in awhile I held a loaded gun in my hand, and the idea of perhaps having to shoot someone scared the hell out of me.

Silently, I went back down the stairs and pushed open the door to Ms. Bass's kitchen. I didn't see anyone, including the old lady. I went to the first room on the right. It looked like a sewing room, and was empty. I went to the next room, her bedroom. Empty too. Across the hall, I went into the bathroom. Slowly, I checked behind the shower curtain. No one. Was it her cat that I heard? Maybe...

With a sigh, I walked out of the bathroom, and turned to go back to my apartment. Then, I heard a noise behind me._/Oh, God why didn't I check the livingroom!? There's plenty of places for someone to hide./ _I didn't have a chance to think another thought, before someone had grabbed me. I screamed, and tried to wrestle free. I took my finger away from the trigger, so I didn't shoot him _or _me.

He was grabbing at the gun, bending my arm, trying to make me drop it. I loosened my grip on it, and once I felt that he had it, I swung my heel up, and crushed his loins, before taking off to the kitchen. My socks slid on the wooden floor, as I yanked the door open. He was following me. I slammed the door, and ran up the stairs, into my kitchen, and shut and bolted the door. Crying slightly, I shoved the kitchen table in front of the door. _/The phone. Call the police../ _I ran into the livingroom, and grabbed the phone and dialed 911. The minute I heard a voice, I screamed into the phone. "He's trying to break into my house!"

--*--

"Hey, you okay?" Chris asked, touching my shoulder affectionately. 

"I can't believe this." I replied, staring over the top of a mug of hot chocolate.

"What?"

"I talked to you today about how I was considering being a cop. There's an intruder in my neighbor's house, and I chicken out."

"Jill, you were scared. And he got your gun..they've been talking about it non-stop on the news. No one blames you for how you reacted."

"Sure, but if I go for an interview, and they hear about how I...I didn't check the house. What if he _hadn't _jumped out at me? What if he waited for Ms. Bass to come home and attacked her?"

"Jill, this isn't a time for 'what if's. You're shaken up about Barry, and your life was in danger. I don't think anyone would have even gone in to investigate."

He didn't really succeed in cheering me up. I had to go to the police station for a full description and all that stuff you see on T.V. I'd never be hired at this rate.

"So, Miss Valentine, what brought you to your neighbor's apartment?" A detective asked.

"Well, I was watching the news, and saw a report on the West Creek Attacker, and I didn't know if she was aware of it, so I went down to tell her." I answered. 

"Alright. And what brought you to bring a gun into her apartment?"

"When I went down the steps, I heard noises. Like...someone rustling papers or something, so I got my gun, which I have a license for and everything. I searched the apartment, but when I came out of the bathroom, he attacked me from behind. I guess he was hiding and waiting for me to drop my guard."

"What can you tell us about him? Any distinguishing characteristics?"

"He was all in black and had gloves on, but...I think he had light brown skin. It could have been a tan, he could have been Indian, I don't know. It didn't seem like he had a weapon, but he tried to get my gun."

"Did you scratch him on his face, or arms?" If I had, it would be easy to spot him. Not everyone has scratch marks running down their face.

"No. I just..kicked him between his legs and ran. At that point, I didn't know if he'd use my gun against me." I answered.

"You used to be a cop? Is that right?" Oh boy, here it comes. 

"Yes. I..quit after seven of my friends were killed. I felt a bit overwhelmed, but I've actually wanted to get back on the force. Today...one of my friends is in the hospital after suffering from a major heart attack, I just...became unravelled." He nodded like he understood.

"Is there anything else you can tell us about him?"

"Let me think..he was very quiet. I didn't hear his shoes squeak against the floor, or anything. I think he had a leather coat with black, faux fur on the inside. I didn't see his face, except when I was running to my apartment. Even then, it was just a blur. He seemed really angry, though. I thought he would kill me."

"Alright, that'll be fine. You can go on home, now Miss Valentine. Or perhaps, is there a friend you can stay with? That gentleman that brought you in?"

"Oh...yeah. Can I go home, and get some stuff first?"

"Certainly. If you'd be so kind, can you bring in your gun permit? If he tries to pawn it, we'll need the serial number. Hopefully we can nab him that way."

"I can't believe he has my gun. If someone gets shot because of me..."

"Now, now, Miss Valentine. You get home and get some rest, you hear? We'll call you tomorrow, alright?" I nodded, and stood up. One of them opened a door for me, and Chris practically jumped out of his seat. 

He held his arms out, and I took them, but didn't let him hug me. The detectives probably thought I was too weak to be a cop anyway. "Can I take her home now?" Chris asked the officers.

"Yes. Just remember to bring that permit by." The detective I spoke to said.

"Alright. I'll have someone run it by." I replied, before going down the stairs to the lobby.

"So how'd it go?" Chris asked. I took a breath.

"Alright, considering. When I told them what happened, it didn't seem like I wussed out _that _badly."

"Hey, cut it out. What was that about your permit?"

"Oh, they want my gun permit to get the serial number in case he tries to pawn it off some place."

"Ah, gotcha. So...you comfortable staying at home or...?"

"No, not really. Would you mind if I stayed with you? I mean..you don't have to but I don't think I--"

"Hey, Jill, no problem. Claire just left actually, she was staying with me. You can stay in her room, okay?" Chris said, holding my shoulders. I nodded, and he escorted me outside. "Look, I'll talk to them if you want. The way I see it, you followed your instincts, and just made a little mistake. Cops aren't saints, Jill. I think you could have a chance at being hired."

"Well thank you for your confidence, but..." I didn't really do anything wrong. I could spout excuses about being strung out, and thinking I was just being paranoid and they would probably understand. "I guess you're right. Thanks...for everything. I know you're pretty upset about Barry, and everything."

He sighed deeply, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "He's like a father to me. I feel so...helpless." He admitted, as we walked into the chilly outdoors.

"Well, you kind of _are _helpless, Chris. You aren't a doctor, or a miracle worker..all you can really do is support Linda, and pray that he makes it out of this." I tell him, rubbing his back softly.

"I'm so used to being in control of everything. I always found a way to make things work so everyone would be happy. Why can't it be that way now?" He asked me, his eyes pleading for an answer.

"Sometimes...there just can't be a happy ending."

He nodded, and sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "Yeah. I just gotta keep thinking positive, right?" He said, looking up into the night sky.

"Yeah. Barry wouldn't want you to fall into a depression. Come on, let's go home." I took his hand, and we walked together to his car. I had seen a lot of this black Camry, lately.

"So, you want to swing by your place so you can get clothes and stuff?" Chris asked, turning the engine.

"Yeah. I also have to get my permit. Are the cops going to be there?" I replied.

"Probably. Searching the place for prints, and all that garbage."

"I hope Ms. Bass didn't get scared when she found cops in her apartment."

"She's probably fine. They'll probably have her stay with her family or something until they sort things out."

I sighed and rubbed my arm mindlessly. There was a slight bruise from when the attacker twisted it behind me. I was really lucky that I walked away unscathed. "Do you...think he'd come after me again?" I asked as we neared West Creek.

"I..doubt it. The cops are crawling all over, he's not likely to hit the same spot twice. If you like..had shot him, or hurt him he might want revenge or something, but I don't think so." He replied, his fingers tapping the steering wheel.

"I did kind of kick him in the groin. From the groan, I'd say it hurt pretty badly." I said, biting my bottom lip. What would happen if he came after me again? He has my gun, he knows where I live, and knows how strong I am.

"Hey, _relax. _We'll get your locks changed, and make sure you're completely safe before you go home. Cheer up, Sleepy Jean." He pinched my cheek lightly, and smiled, before turning his attention back to the road.

--*--

There was yellow police tape blocking the entrance to my front yard. We got a bit of trouble from the cop guarding the place. But Chris mentioned someone's name, and that I lived there, and he let us duck under the tape. "Matt Fletcher's the guy I had my interview with." Chris informed me, as he jogged up the four steps to my door.

"Oh. I hope he doesn't get mad that you used his name to gain entry to a crime scene." I replied, pushing my door open. We climbed the steps and greeted the officers that were there.

"Miss Valentine here just needs to get a few of her things." Chris said cooly. The cops nodded, and moved out of the way so I could get to my room. I pulled a suit case from the closet and opened it, tossing it on my bed. Chris stood there, watching me. "Need any help?" He asked.

"No thanks." I answer, tossing some folded shirts into the suit case. I'm purposely avoiding the underwear drawer. "Actually, can you get me my toothbrush from the bathroom? You can stick it in a ziploc bag, they're under the sink in the kitchen."

"Yeah, sure." He heads out of the room, giving me enough time to get to the personals. I shove the whole drawer, practically, under the shirts and pants that were already in the suitcase before grabbing a bunch of socks. Opening the closet door, I look for some nice attire. If I _did _get this interview, I had to look professional, right? The permit for my gun was kept in my night stand, along with some other personal affects. The cops had probably looked through my diary for any clues. That's a big invasion of privacy.

"Here you go." Chris said, tossing the toothbrush into the suitcase.

"Thanks. I'll be ready to go in a minute." I tell him, unplugging my cellphone charger from the wall.

"I'll be outside, see if there were any developments, okay?" Chris said, nodding at me.

"Sure. Be right there."

Before leaving my room, I took my Garnet necklace from the bed stand and sighed. It was the only nice piece of jewelery I had from my parents. They gave it to me on my birthday when I turned 16...I think. Clasping it around my neck, I zipped the suitcase closed, and lugged it out into the hallway. Chris was talking to some people, so I went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the refrigerator. My phone rang, scaring me, and startling everyone else. A few officers ran in. "Should I answer it?" I asked. What if it was the guy that attacked me?

"Yeah. Go ahead. Don't give anything away, about where you're staying." An officer instructed. I slowly picked up the receiver and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I said cautiously, expecting a gruff manly voice to answer.

"Hi, Jill!" A cheery voice greeted. 

"Rebecca..hi. What's up?" The officers returned to the living room, but Chris stuck around. She told me about how she and Carlos had been spending so much quality time together, and stuff I _didn't _want to hear about at the moment. Then a thought struck me. She had no idea about Barry. I covered the microphone, and whispered to Chris. "You haven't been able to contact Becca about Barry, have you?" He shook his head.

"Bec, wait up. There's something you should know...it's Barry. He's in the hospital."

"What? Oh my God...I had no idea. What happened? Is he going to be okay?" She asked worriedly.

"...He most likely..won't make it. He had a severe heart attack..the damage is done. Everyone's been at the hospital, and trying to call you."

"Damn...and here I was, trying to share my happiness...w-what hospital?"

"Saint Mary's. He's in the I.C.U. They're just trying to keep him comfortable until..." I trailed off. She knew what I meant. Chris's eyes shifted to the clock. It was getting late, he probably wanted to get home.

"Wow...I can't believe this. It's so sudden." She said sadly.

"Yeah, I know. Look...I gotta go. Today's been really messed up, and I'm going to be staying at Chris's for awhile. I gotta go. Try to see Barry before he's gone, okay?"

"Yeah...okay.."

I hung up and rubbed my eyes. "She's so blindly in love. I can't believe she didn't know about Barry." I told Chris, as I pulled my coat from a chair in the kitchen.

"No one's been able to reach her. It's like she's never at home." Chris said, taking my suit case for me.

"She's totally obsessed with Carlos. Not that I mind that she's happy or whatever. But...it's messed up."

"I know. You ready to get out of here?" He asked. I nodded, and we said goodbye to the police, before walking down the stairs and out into the cold air.

We brushed past the police, and spectators towards Chris's car. He held the door open for me, and put my suit case into the trunk before climbing into the driver's seat. "You hungry?" He asked, turning the car on.

"Not really. I just kind of want to hide under a blanket for awhile." I told him truthfully. This was one of those times where I just wanted to shrink into the corner, and not have to deal with anyone, or answer any questions.

"That can be arranged." There was that slightly uncomfortable silence again. We had seen so much of each other, so we ran out of things to talk about. "You mind if I put the radio on?" He asked, driving along the rain slicked road.

"No, it's okay." I closed my eyes, trying to imagine that I was somewhere else. 

_Spreading out it's wings to fly,   
the age passes quietly to a tiny sky  
on the wind it's brought a farewell to the morning. _

_We pretended not to notice. Maybe...  
though we played innocently somehow we saw this time coming._

"Chris...do you think Barry is going to die?" 

"..Would you like me to answer you truthfully?"

"Of course. I don't want you to lie."

"Then...yes. I think he's going to die."

_Don't hesitate to smile for me once more  
You're so quiet today.   
I want to go back to those days but...  
We'll meet again, thank you.   
Until then... goodbye. _  


"He's kind of been like a father to everyone...what is it going to be like without him?"

"Do you really want to be talking about this, Jill?"

"I'm only asking because...you lost your parents, right?"

"Yes."

"You know what it's like. What is it going to feel like?"

_The flower petals scattered in the wind are laughing  
and decorate our last kiss.   
If you stay quiet, the tears are going to well up  
so please_

_Don't tremble when you smile for me once more.   
Raise your head.   
When the new season comes,  
we'll meet again, thank you for loving me.  
Goodbye. _

"You want to know the actual feeling? Well...you'll get a tight feeling in your chest and it'll slowly spread through your entire body, until you're completely filled with anger, and sadness, that you feel like you're going to explode. And you try so hard, so _damn _hard not to cry, to be strong for everyone else...but you can't."

"...how long will that last?" I regretted asking him anything in the first place. He was on the verge of tears. 

"I guess it depends how deeply you care for the person. It could wear off after a few hours, or in a day, or after a week, or two...it may never go away."

"Did it go away for you?"

"Eventually. This is kind of a different situation, though Jill. I know you're still pissed off at Barry for the shit he did to you. The pain won't last."

"Don't make me sound so heartless, Chris. Even though he could have been the death of me, I wouldn't wish death upon him."

"I didn't say you would. Just that it won't hurt for that long."

Maybe he was right. As I mindlessly chewed on my thumbnail, I thought back to those caves beneath the mansion. To that...creature that Barry sent me after. That he abandoned me with. The sinking, nauseating feeling when I found out he had been working for Wesker. Then I thought about what happened today. Some criminal attacking me in what was practically my own home. My fingers travelled to my necklace, and toyed with it as I wondered why all this was happening.  


Lyrics courtesy of L'arc~en~ciel's Sayounara! I Not available at songjapan?! Outrageous!


	5. Chapter 5

No Balm For Grief 5

By: Hotaru

Notes: I'm pleasantly suprised and satisfied with the ending of this chapter. More japanese music of course. Originally, I used a different song, but it didn't seem quite right, so I replaced it with Anemone (which I now know how to pronounce. Hee). Get it here: 

_To the reviewers:_

ScoobySnax: Shocker! We'll see who it is, I'll keep you guessing. Heh heh heh.

Dayon: I'll try to update quicker. Glad you like!

Tek: Both you and my sister mentioned that remark...heehee.

Panny: Yeah, I hate past/present tense. It's stupid and confuses me. My reviews your reviews

Kez: Thanks! Here's a chapter!

It was the morning after the attack. I woke up, in an unfamiliar place, and lay there, dumbfounded until I realized where I was. I could hear someone talking in the next room. Chris...he was on the phone with someone. Upon hearing my name, I crept out of bed, and stood near the open door way. 

"If you wouldn't mind, Sir, I'd really like to be on this case." Was he talking about the West Creek Attacker case? I guess he got the job... "Well, my friend is involved, and I'd really like the opportunity to take this guy down...yes, I understand, and if I'm stepping out of line, then I'm sorry...yes. I understand...really? Thank you, sir. Thanks...sure, I got it. Twelve? Okay, no problem. Thank you."

He sounded quite grateful, so I'm assuming his boss let him join the case. I guess that was a good thing, but then again, I didn't know how good of a crime solver he was. Walking out to the hall, I smiled in his direction, before going into the bathroom.

"Morning, Jill." He greeted.

"Morning." I replied, rubbing my eyes tiredly. "What time is it?"

"A quarter to eleven. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, suprisingly." I closed the door, so I could pee, and he stayed on the other side of the door.

"I was just on the phone with that Matt Fletcher guy. I got the job." He said, his voice muffled a bit.

"Congratulations." I say, flushing the toilet, and turning the water on in the sink.

"Thanks. I ah...actually, I asked him if I could be on the Attacker case, and he agreed."

"Really?" I said, accidentally spitting some toothpaste onto the mirror in front of me.

"Yeah, it's great. I wanted to be involved, find out who tried to hurt you. And I figured it'd get my mind off things." I nodded, as if he could see me, while brushing my teeth.

"Well, I hope you get the guy." I said, although it didn't sound like that. 

"What?"

Spitting the toothpaste from my mouth, I repeated myself more clearly. "Oh, yeah. That'd be great, wouldn't it?" He must feel proud.

"Sure. So are you going down to the station today?" I asked, rinsing my mouth out, and splashing some water on my face.

"Yeah, at twelve. You want to get some breakfast before we go? Or I go?"

"Sure." I opened the door to the bathroom and smiled, quite aware that my hair was a bit messy. 

"Do you want to come? To the station, I mean?"

I shrugged, and went back to my new room. "I don't know what good I'll do there. I told you guys everything I know, I'd probably just be in the way."

"It's your choice. Maybe you can see how Linda and the kids are doing?" He suggested, glancing around the room.

"Yeah, maybe." He walked to the night stand and picked up my Garnet necklace.

"Is this yours?" He asked, admiring it.

"Yeah. Sweet Sixteen present." I answered.

"Oh. I figured that. I thought it might be Claire's but her birthstone's a diamond." He put the necklace back down, and grinned.

"What's yours?" I asked.

"Pearl...June." He replied. "Well, I'll let you get changed, and whatever." I nodded, and stayed sitting until he closed the door, and I heard his footsteps fade away. I hadn't bothered to unpack my clothes last night, since I was feeling drained. Tossing the suitcase on the bed, I unzipped it, and pulled on one of the drawers in the dresser across from the bed. After putting a pair of jeans, and a light blue shirt, I put my clothes away. They fit in two drawers, making me realize I'd probably have to go back home before long.

--*--

Chris drove to the nearest International House of Pancakes to treat me to a big breakfast. Truth be told, the most I've been having in the mornings was cereal, or eggs. Having a big feast would be nice for a change. We were seated at a booth, and given two menus by a foreign waiter. I wasn't sure what I wanted. Everything looked so tempting. In the end, I just got a combination of pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

"So, I called the hospital last night, and talked to Linda for awhile. She seems to be taking things well." Chris said, while we waited for our food.

"Yeah? That's good. Have a lot of people been by?" I asked, straightening the sugar packets.

"She only mentioned a few people stopping by, mostly the ones who were at the party. I think her sister's watching the kids."

"Poor girls. I bet they have no idea what's going on."

He nodded tapping along to the drum beat of the song on the radio. "So how are you? Settling down?" He asked, looking up at me.

"...yeah. Relaxing a bit." I was still a little shaken up, but not the 'looking around your shoulder every five feet' kind of shaken up.

"That's good. I was worried you might be..." He trailed off, looking for the right words.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"I just figured that with all this stuff piling on you, you might feel overwhelmed."

I smiled at his concern. "Nope, I'm fine." He looked around the restaurant, eyeing signs for new dishes and the likes. "So, Rebecca's pretty head over heels for Carlos, now."  


"Is that right? They sure hit it off." He commented, frowning briefly.

"You don't have to be worried for her. He's a decent guy. Saved my life, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. One of your 'heroes'."

"Chris...are you _jealous_?" I questioned, acting astonished.

He rested his elbows on the table. "No...you just..spoke so highly of Richard at the funeral, and now about Carlos being so 'decent'. When are you gonna toss some compliments my way?"

"Chris, come on...you know that you saved me. And if it weren't for _you_, then Carlos wouldn't have had to save me cause I'd be dead. I'm eternally grateful to you, but I can't ignore everyone else's contributions to my well being." I put my hand on top of his.

"Yeah. Anyway...here comes the food." He was always playful when ever other people were mentioned...other _guys_. He'd joke about things, usually getting me to laugh or something. This seemed different, though. Maybe he was feeling guilty about not being there for me last night.

--*--

I hated being in the hospital again. Everything seemed so surreal. The floors were _too _clean, the people seemed like zombies almost. Milling about, with only one thing on their mind: helping patient after patient. I wondered if they really cared about the families once they were finished. They say either "Good news, they're going to make it" or "I'm sorry, we used all of our facilities but there was nothing we could do", walk away, and let the family grieve. Did they really care at the end of the day? Did they care that Barry would be leaving behind a wife and two children who depended on him?

As I walked, it seemed like I went slower and slower as I neared the room Barry was being kept in. The hallway was long, my heeled feet were making soft click's on the floor. I knew Linda would be in there, holding his hand, waiting for him to wake up. I heard footsteps behind me. Someone running. I turned, and Rebecca nearly crashed into me. "Jill! I didn't know you were coming here too." She said, breathlessly.

"Same here. Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Just ran all the way here." She rested her hands on her knees, breathing deeply before straightening. "Which room is he in?"

"Six E. Near the end." I answered, knowing she'd drag me along so she could do her consoling. "Where's Carlos?"

"He's going to be busy today. Renovating, or something, I can't really remember. Look what he got me." She held up her right hand, and revealed a small ring on her thumb with a purple stone.

"Whats this for?"

"Well, it's his birthstone. He said he got the ring awhile ago but thought purple was too girly a color, so it had been sitting around his apartment for awhile." She answered, admiring the pretty little thing.

"Oh. That's nice...did he lend it to you or...?" I asked, as we arrived at 6E.

"No, he gave it to me actually. So now, I have to get him something with a sapphire. We're switching birthstones." She smiled, before knocking on the door.

"Yes.." Linda's voice answered. She sounded so depressed. "Come in."

We entered the room, and I had to fight not to cringe. Barry's skin had paled, his lips were dry and cracked. It seemed like he was wasting away. "I'm so sorry, Linda." Rebecca consoled, giving the older woman a hug.

"Thanks, sweet heart. Have a seat. You can pray with me." Linda replied, wiping her eyes.

"So how's he doing?"

"Not any better. The doctors say...he could last forever like this. I don't want him to suffer, having a machine breathing for him."

"Have you...decided about the uh..." I suddenly couldn't find the words I was looking for. You can't ask a wife to let her husband die.

"The D.N.R.? I've thought a lot about it. I want...to talk to the girls about it, but they're too young to understand that it might be better to let Daddy go, then to keep him alive and suffering."

Rebecca was silent, looking at Barry sadly. "Does he have any family you could talk to about it?" She asked. Linda shook her head. 

"I was going to gather you all together to see what you think I should do." She answered.

"You shouldn't have to make this decision alone." I added. In a sense, she was alone. 

  
"If you want, I can call everyone up, and ask them to come by. They can..pray with you, try to help you with your decision." I offered. 

"Would you? I think that would be great. Give everyone a chance to see him...once more." She said, with a small nod. I think that in her heart she had already made the decision to let him go. She just couldn't bring herself to actually make it official. 

"Okay. If you don't mind, I'll go do that...you'll stay right, Becca?" I said, backing towards the door. She nodded, and held Linda's hand. "Okay...call my cell phone in about an hour or so, okay?" She nodded again. I quickly left the room, walking back down the hallway much quicker than before. My address book was left at home. Even though I didn't want to go back there, there wasn't much else I _could _do. I was too afraid to stay there with her.

I was relieved to find only a few officers around. My apartment was empty, but I could hear them downstairs. I went right to the kitchen, and pulled open a drawer full of stationary supplies. The address book was all the way in the back, and stuck on _something_. Yanking it out, I flipped through it, making sure I had everyone's numbers. Stuffing it into my purse, I made my way back outside towards the train station. Thankfully, Chris lived nearby and it wouldn't be too far to walk from the train stop.

Chris had put the key to his place on my keyring sometime without me noticing. I was thankful, or else I would be locked out, ready to play the part of the West Creek victim. Thankfully, his apartment didn't seem as dreary as mine did. Settling down in the kitchen, I took the phone and dialed the first number. _/A...Aiken. I hope Lacy doesn't pick up.../ _I dialed the number and held my breath. She answered. Damn it all.

"Hi, Lacy..it's Jill." I said.

"Oh...hi." She sounded so _thrilled _to hear from me.

"I'm..sorry to call you but Linda wanted everyone to come to the hospital for a little prayer service for Barry."

"Is that right..."

"She also would like everyone's help in deciding whether or not to sign a D.N.R.."

"Oh...I don't know if I can't make it. It's been so...bad lately."

"I understand. Don't feel obliged to come, but I figured that since you couldn't go to the party...anyway. If you do come, everyone will appreciate it."

"Alright. Bye."

I made several calls like that, everyone seemed to agree to come. Unfortunately, I couldn't get through to Carlos. He would answer, and I could hear noise in the background but he didn't say anything. I thought of stopping by to see if things were alright, but I had to get back to the hospital.

_Surrounded by the kindness of the dear people,   
I take off towards you.  
With those shining memories engraved in my heart,  
the wind pushes me to the road which continues to the port.  
_

_I think of that dear person  
my feelings will last through the winter. _

--*--

Much to my suprise, a few people had showed up already. I was pleased to see Raian Frost and Cecelia Sullivan. "You're fast." I remarked, stepping into the gloomy hospital room. "There wasn't anything else to do." Raian commented.

"I called all the other families, they said they'd try to make it." I told Linda, who now was clutching a box of tissues.

"Thank you." They had formed a semi-circle around Barry's bed with chairs. "Come, everyone sit and take hands. We'll pray for Barry."

_The glorious season   
Ah, the boat leaves for a destination unknown  
without waiting for the flowers to bloom.  
No one will put out the quietly burning flame.  
The little ship crossing the seas,   
seeks a far away land with all its hope.  
Ah, my wish is but one,   
to entrust my eternal vow to those hands._  


I took a seat between Rebecca and Raian. Their hands were warm, compared to mine. "Dear God.." Linda began, trying hard not to cry. "Please...don't take my husband. He's a good man...I know he hasn't been perfect, but he doesn't deserve to die. His children need him, _I _need him. His friends are here, praying with me...is there even a way to convince you not to take my poor Barry?"

_Now the sounding of the bell tells me its that time.  
Ah, Anemone.. Ah my Anemone.   
_

"He's 38 years old...he told me how he wanted a 40th birthday party this December, instead of _next _December, because he wanted to just get it over with. He was eager to live, and grow old with me and our girls. And now, Lord, you give me this decision. How can I call myself a child of God if I make my husband suffer, just so I don't? I asked everyone here so that I could decide my poor husband's fate. I have made my decision, God. Human medicine can do nothing more for him. It's up to you now."

_I'm taking off to you towards the time   
when that hill blooms red_

_I'm taking off toward you  
Ah...toward you._


	6. Chapter 6

No Balm For Grief 6

By: Hotaru

Notes: Wow, chapter 6 already. It's insane. This is coming along well. Hopefully, all are enjoying! And secretely crying ^.^

_To the reviewers:_

Ota: Cliffhangers are the key to any Japanese drama. I think Barry will star too ^_~

ScoobySnax: What's up with Lacy? She's sad I guess. 

Panny: Why?...just why? Shut up with your freaking nurse-ness! MASSIVE HEART ATTACK okay?!

Tek: We'll see....we'll see

Sarah: Finally, a review so I can update. He haw! Thank you kindly!

So Linda had made her decision. None of us argued with her, or tried to get her to change her mind. I was secretely telling myself that she should sign it. I just could tell somehow that Barry wasn't going to make it. After awhile of listening to Linda sob, I excused myself and went to call Chris. 

"Wow. That took a lot of strength on her part." He said, after I told him of Linda's decision.

"Yeah. She had me call some people to give her strength or something."

"So, what does this mean? That if Barry's heart stops beating or something, they'll just let him go?"

"Mm-hmm. There's still the chance that he'll stay hooked up to a respirator without going into cardiac arrest or anything, so in a sense he might still be suffering."

"Is he in a coma?"

I wasn't sure about that. "I don't know." I answered finally.

"Well I heard that once you slip into a coma, you can't feel pain anymore." Chris replied. That reassured me a little.

"Oh. So anyway, how are things on your end?"

"Fine. I was just brought up to speed on the case. Everyone thinks that there's some sort of pattern, but they can't figure it out."

"Like some kind of serial killer case?"

"Yeah."

I shivered, and looked down the hallway. "That scares me. What time will you be home?"

"I don't know. Sometime this evening. Why?" He asked. Why else? I was afraid.

"I just didn't feel like being alone. I guess I'll hang out with Rebecca for awhile before heading back to your place."

"Alright. Talk to you later then."

"Yeah. Bye."

I hung up the phone and sighed. As I went back towards Barry's room everyone started filing out. "Linda wants to be alone." Becca informed me. I nodded.

"You want to hang out with me then, keep me company?" I asked, pulling my coat on.

"Sure. Let me give Carlos a call and let him know." She said, walking down towards the pay phones. She dialed his number, and got a perplexed expression on her face. "There's no answer. He said he'd be home all day.."

"Well, let's go see if he's home." I suggested. She nodded, and followed me out of the hospital to the parking lot. "Is this his car?" I asked, as she stopped by a black sedan.

"Yeah, he let me borrow it."

I kind of felt guilty, keeping her away from her new love interest, but what else was I supposed to do? She drove to Carlos's apartment, which was pretty close to my neighborhood. "So what kind of work is he doing?" I asked, as we got out of the car.

"I think he was installing a ceiling fan or something." Rebecca replied, pressing the call button near the front door.

"You don't have a key?"

"I do, I just want to see if he'd answer...this is strange." Pulling our her keys, she found the one for the front door, and barged into the lobby. "I can't imagine what he's doing."

I wanted to reassure her somehow, but I didn't know what was going through her head. Maybe...she thought Carlos was having a torrid love affair behind her back. I wouldn't put it past the ol' pervert, but something about this wasn't right. Someone did answer the phone before...Oh God, what if he was robbed!? The elevator was out of order, so we ran up a few flights of stairs. We were both in a state of panic as she tried to find the key to his door. There weren't any noises coming from inside...Finally, the door was open, and we charged in.

"Carlos! Carlos, where are you!?" Rebecca shouted, running through the small hallway into the livingroom. I closed the door behind me, and glanced in the kitchen. "Jill! Come quick!" I bolted in the direction I heard her scream.

"Oh my God.." Blood. Everywhere. Pools of it stained the carpet, near Carlos's lifeless body.

"Call an ambulence!" She shouted, tears streaming down her face. Frantically, she ran for towels to press against his wounds...if she could even find where the wounds _were_. 

I pulled out my cellphone and dialed 911. "What happened?!" I asked her, as if she knew.

"I don't know. Carlos, Carlos wake up!" She shook him, and felt for a pulse. "His heart is still beating. Carlos--wake up!"

I hardly noticed that there was someone on the other line. I screamed something about someone being attaked. Becca gave them the address, and we had to wait what seemed like an eternity. Carlos woke up a little before the ambulence got there. "I'm not going to make it, Bec. I know the pattern.." He gasped, reaching for her hands.

"Don't talk like that. What's the pattern?" She asked.

"You...have my ring...that's all you need.." Then, he died. Just like that, like in the movies. His eyes slowly closed, his jaw relaxed. He would look almost peaceful if it wasn't for the blood splattered about, and Rebecca crying hysterically over him. Why...?

--*--

That night, Chris and I sat in his apartment, on the couch. I cried in his arms. "Why is this happening?! Why are all our friends dying?" 

"I don't know, Jill...he knew the pattern, so we'll figure it out soon." He said, stroking my back.

"He just mentioned the ring..what does that have to do with anything?"

"We'll figure it out."

"How soon? What if some sick bastard is targeting the survivors or something? Like...an assassin from Umbrella?"

"...I don't know. If that's the case, then...ah, it just doesn't make sense. Barry wasn't beaten or anything. You weren't really hurt.."

I thought about it for a bit. There was _something_. Something that was obvious, but so obvious that we were completely dumbfounded. "We'll find him. Not to sound cruel, but you've already been attacked so you shouldn't worry much." He tried to comfort me.

"What about you? And Becky, and your sister! The attacks seem to be getting more and more violent, and it doesn't seem like they're random anymore. Like he was just moving into West Creek to get to us." Man, I wish I was a detective.

"That could be it. Look, I'm gonna go call everyone to warn them. I know Becky's at the station, so she'll be alright. But I'll let the others know." He climbed out from under me and went into the kitchen. It was still early in the night, but I just wanted to sleep and wake up from this nightmare. 

Desperately, I tried to think. Find something connecting us all. Barry was the oldest survivor, followed by Chris, I think. So it isn't by age. Maybe he was mimicking serial killers or something. "Chris, do you mind if I go online to look for something?" I called into the kitchen.

"Sure, go ahead. What are you looking for?" He called back.

"A pattern." He'd probably tell me not to, and to just try to relax. I _couldn't _relax. Two of my friends were dead. Well, one was as good as dead, at least. I turned on his computer, which sat in the corner with papers scattered across the desk the moniter rested on. While waiting for it to boot up, I thought more about everything that was going on. Without a gun, I didn't feel safe. With Chris near me, I felt fine. Almost normal. But what happens when he goes to work? Maybe I could go with him and try to help on the case?

Once everything was loaded, I did a search for serial killer patterns. Chris returned from the kitchen and sat on the couch, looking at the screen. "Hey, look at this. 'The Organized serial killer is usually gainfully employed and socially competent. They have transportation and are often married with children and are well thought of in their community.' We might even know who he is..." I said slowly.

"Look at that...they said he'd have knowledge of forensics, so he'd clean up the crime scene well. There wasn't any evidence at either place. So we can lean towards this guy being an organized serial killer. Shit, that doesn't help. If they've interviewed people that seemed like outstanding citizens, they probably didn't suspect them one bit." He replied.

"Look here at what it says about Mission Orientated: This serial killer believes that their acts are justified. They have convinced themselves that they have a mission to rid society of a certain type of element, prostitutes, homosexuals, children, et cetera' Could they be trying to eliminate us? Umbrella sends out a serial killer to finish the job..I don't know about you but this is giving me the creeps." I shuddered.

"You probably shouldn't read any more now. I'll bring this up tomorrow at work, see if they think it's worth looking into." Chris said, turning the t.v. on.

"Um...do you think that I could maybe go with you tomorrow? I don't want to be alone, and maybe I could help you.." I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't want me there.

"It really kind of goes against protocol. I mean, I wouldn't mind you being there but I don't know how well it'll go over with my boss, you know?"

I nodded. "I wish that I could think of something better to tell you. Some more information I mean. I really want to get this guy and I don't want to be home alone."

"I'll ask my boss if you can stick around the station. Don't count on anything, though alright?" He smiled, it comforted me.

"Alright."

"Hey, how about we order a pizza, and watch a movie or something?"

"Sure."

"What kind of toppings you like?"

"Mm...how about some pepperoni?"

He ordered a pizza, and we watched Austin Powers, which certainly lifted both of our moods. After putting the remaining pizza in the refrigerator, Chris went to get some rest. I watched T.V., old episodes of Family Ties and things like that until I felt sleepy. I tried desperately not to think about what was going on so I could actually fall asleep. I wanted to help tomorrow, as much as I could. If they see how good I am, then maybe they'd be eager to hire me. Until then, sweet dreams..

--*--

When we arrived at the police station, there were manila folders scattered over all of the detective desks. "Which one's yours?" I asked, trying to find the neatest one. Chris held open the little gate-door for me, and walked to the back of the office. "Here we are. New detectives always get the back desk, or so I'm told." Chris informed me, pulling a chair from the coffee room so I could sit down.

"Thanks." I said, shrugging my jacket off. "So what have you got? Information wise?"

"Let's see...well, I'm looking over the reports from the first incidents, before the attacks started happening. The people had no connections as far as that's concerned."

"What are their names?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, but started flipping through some papers. "Ed Wong, Catherine Branaugh, you want me to keep going?" I shook my head.

"Maybe you should run those names by the others to see if they recognize them. It really seems like this guy is coming after survivors." There was something about these names.

"Well I don't know what to tell you. As far as the current attacks are concerned, it's like our names were tossed into a hat, and picked at random."

"Yeah, well--"

At that point, his phone rang. I let him answer it, and wandered into the coffee room to get something to drink. Leaning against the window sill, I looked out into the dreary world. I didn't even notice Chris come in and stand behind me. "That was ah...that was Linda..." He said gruffly. _Oh God..._

"What..what is it?" I asked, turning around.

"Sometime...yesterday, Barry ah..he..."

"He's dead...?" 

He collapsed to the floor, not trying to hide his tears. "Chris, I'm so sorry." I said, pulling him into me.

"Why'd I have to be so helpless? Why couldn't I do anything?" He cried, slamming his fist against the floor.

"Modern Medicine couldn't do anything. You did what you could, and that was good enough. Linda appreciates your comfort, and your company...I'm sure you'll help her get through this tough time."

"But..."

I lifted him off the floor, and wiped his eyes. "Come, now. You don't want your boss to see you like this, right?" I questioned, as he avoiding looking into my eyes.

"Yeah. Let me go to the john and clean up." He said, shrugging out of my grasp, and leaving the room. I sighed shakily and took a swig from my bottle of water. Two more of us were dead. Who knows if that number will increase in the next few days? As I looked out the window, tears in the corner's of my eyes, I tried to cry for Barry. But I just...couldn't. Someone walked into the room. I turned around, and recognized the man. He was the detective that took my statement after the attack.

"Ah, hi again, detective." I greeted. He looked up from his coffee.

"Oh, Miss Valentine. I didn't expect to see you here again." He said with a smile.

"I'm a friend of Chris Redfield's. I'm here to try to help on the case."

"Is that right? Well, I gotta get back to work. Nice seein' you again." 

I nodded, and walked back to Chris's desk. I looked through his rolodex to find some numbers. I tried to remember Leon's last name, but just settled for Claire's card. Picking up the phone, I dialed the number. It rang a few times, but no one answered. With a sigh, I hung up. On her card, there was a little scribble that read Leon Kennedy. Flipping to the K's, I located his card and dialed the number. He answered on the third ring or so.

"Hi, Leon. It's Jill..we met at the party?" I said, hoping he'd remember me.

"Ah, hi. What's going on?" It seemed like he had no idea why I'd be calling him.

"Um, I'm working on a case, and...is it alright if I run some name's by you? Could you tell me if you recognize them at all?"

"Sure."

"Okay. The names are Wong and Branaugh. There's only two, so I can understand if there isn't--"

"Yeah...I know those names."

My eyes must have lit up. "You do? How? From where?"

"Wong...there was a woman I met in Raccoon City with that last name. And there was a cop also, who's last name was Branaugh I think." He answered.

"Did either of them survive?"

"...the cop turned into a zombie shortly after I met him..I don't know about the woman."

"Alright..."

"You find some sort of pattern now?" He asked. I bit my lip. What should I tell him?

"Leon, listen. You might be in danger, Claire too." I whispered.

"What?!" He exclaimed.

"I...I don't know. He might be trying to kill the survivors, I don't know. I couldn't get in contact with Chris's sister, can you try to? Tell her to be extra careful? Two people are already dead." I said as quietly as possible.

"I don't believe this...anything else you can tell me?"

"Not really. Just be on the look out." I saw Chris come out of the bathroom. "I gotta go." I hung up the phone quickly. "Feeling better?" I asked him.

"A little bit. Let's get to work, hm?"

Serial killer info from there. It'd be creepy if I knew that stuff, unless I was studying criminology or something.


	7. Chapter 7

No Balm For Grief 7

By: Hotaru

Notes: It's always odd when there's a bunch of good reviews, and one bad one. Sticks out like a sore thumb, and makes you wonder if the person gets off trying to make other people feel bad. Didn't work, jackass!

ScoobySnax: Suspect everyone! I think I know who it is...that's a lie, I don't. ;p

Tek: Yeah. That Japanese restaurant that Becca and Jill went to...it's real. I went there, and had teriyaki chicken. It was very, very hot. Made me want to make a Rurouni Kenshin costume and go there for Halloween.

Peanutbuttersunshine: I've already addressed you. Glad to see you don't have the balls to respond to my e-mail!

Dayon: More suspense!? My suspense tank is dry...

Panny: ØWN3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ota: I like your analogy. Icing...is good. Some icing is bad though.We bought a tube of icing around Christmas, and haven't used it.

Rachel: Thank you! Death's are always sad...

Chris treated me to lunch, and dinner to give our mind's a break. I asked him how long it takes to solve cases like these. He said that it depends. Sometimes, they never get solved.

That thought bothered me. What if all of us were killed? And then the killings stopped? I wouldn't be able to rest in my grave, not knowing what the goddamn pattern was. Every second thought in my head was about the stupid pattern. I planned tomorrow carefully. I was going to get everyone's vital information. Blood type, birthday, hair color, and everything that could somehow be linked, and I was going to go over it and find the pattern, and catch the killer. For Carlos...and for Barry.

--*--

The detectives called Rebecca back in, once her condition went from hysterical to slightly calm. They let me stay in the room with her while they interrogated her again. "When can I get his ring back?" She asked, before they had a chance to say anything.

"We should be able to return that to you shortly. Now, do you remember anyone suspicious hanging around your boyfriend's apartment lately? Any suspicious phone calls?" A detective asked.

"No."

"What was it that Mr. Oliviera said before he passed away?"

"He said...he was glad that I had my ring...that he figured out the pattern, he was glad I had my ring and that it was all we need."

"What's so special about the ring?"

"It's...his birthstone...but it's purple so he didn't want to wear it so he let me have it."

Birthstone...purple...what was the month for purple?

The detective rubbed his chin, obviously wondering what the hell all this meant. "Did you touch anything after you found your boyfriend?" He continued.

"No...just him." Rebecca answered, pulling a tissue from the box that was on the table.

"Did he have any enemies?"

"...not that I know of. Everyone liked him...you couldn't find anything? No hairs or fibers or anything?"

"No, unfortunately not."

"Did you wipe everything for prints? The windows, the sink, the door handles?" I interrupted.

"I'm sure that Crime Scene checked all surfaces for prints, and they found nothing. I'm sorry, Miss Chambers but we're still at a standstill on this case. If you can think of anything else, please give us a call."

She nodded, and sighed shakily. "We'll find him, Bec. Don't worry. Why don't you go on home and get some rest?" I suggested.

"Can I get his ring back?" She asked. Nodding, I stood up and went to find the Detective.

"Excuse me, Detective Simone, can she get the ring back? She asked for it again." He was filling his cup with coffee again.

"Yeah. I'll go get it from the lab." He said, handing me his coffee for safekeeping.

"Did they find anything on it?"

"Don't think so. Tough case...you can tell her to wait out here." He passed by a bench and gestured to it before jogging down the stairs. I put the cup onto his desk, or what I _thought _was his desk, and went to bring her out. Chris bumped into us as we were making our way back to the office. I could tell he didn't really know what to say. Rebecca on the other hand, did. She looked up at Chris briefly, and asked him to catch the killer.

"I'll try. We're all trying our damndest to, Bec. We'll get him. I promise." He said, giving her a quick hug. Something told me that Chris wasn't sure if we'd ever find this guy. I had hope though, I _knew _that we'd figure it out. 

"You know what Chris..." I said, as Rebecca sat down in the bench and hugged her knees to her chest. "I'm going to go call Leon. He's a cop, maybe he can help us out with this." I didn't give him a chance to say no, before walking briskly to his phone. Chris stayed by Rebecca's side, comforting her as best he could while I dialed in Leon's number.

"Hello?" He answered, sounding kind of like he was expecting someone.

"Hey, Leon. It's Jill again." I replied.

"Oh, hey. What's going on?"

"Truthfully, we're stuck in this damn case, and I was calling to see if you could maybe help us out."

"Alright, I'll do what I can I guess."

"Great." I glanced over at Chris and Rebecca. She seemed to be calming down, so I gave Chris an encouraging smile. "Well...like I mentioned before, we might all be in danger. 'We' being the survivors of the Umbrella incidents."

"Ah huh.."

"Well, so far, Barry and Carlos are dead. They weren't similar in anyway, really. Their health was different, their ages...the only thing linking them is their involvement with this. Barry died soon after Linda, his wife, signed a D.N.R. which is sort of strange to me, and Carlos was renovating his apartment when he was killed. Now, he had been spending a lot of time with Rebecca lately, and this was the first time that they were really separated since Rebecca went to visit Barry with me, in the hospital. It seems like a strange coincidence...and before Carlos died, he mentioned the ring he had given Becca, and said that it was all she needed, and that he found the pattern." I took a breath or two and let him absorb everything.

"What's the significance of the ring?" Leon questioned.

"It was Carlos's birthstone, and purple. He never wore it but he gave it to her and she wore it." I answered, looking through the files to see if there was anything I forgot to tell him. "Oh right...he came after me the other day. And he has my gun now."

"Jesus...did he use it to kill Carlos?"

"No, he was stabbed. Why would he take my gun, but not use it?"

"Are you sure he took it?"

"Well, it wasn't in the apartment at all. The cops did a canvas of the neighborhood, and looked in trash cans and stuff but didn't find it."

"Hm..no clues at the crime scenes?"

"No. Everything was spick and span."

"Damn. Well...I wrote down most of what you told me. I'll go over it for awhile to see if I can figure anything out. Where can I reach you?" He questioned. I rummaged around Chris's desk, and found his business card and gave Leon the number.

"Were you able to get in contact with Chris's sister?" I asked.

"Shit, no, I was actually waiting for her to call. I left a couple messages on her machine, but she hasn't called back yet. You think we should be worried?"

"I don't know...should I tell Chris? He'll probably head over to her place to find her."

"Nah, I'm gonna head over there now. I'll call you when I know something."

"Alright. Thanks for your help."

"No problem. Bye."

I hung up the phone with a sigh. Detective Simone returned finally, and handed Rebecca Carlos's ring in a plastic evidence bag. I got up, and went over to the trio. "We cleaned all the blood off of it." Simone said.

"Thank you." Rebecca said, putting the bag in her pocket.

"Be sure to keep in touch if anything comes up, alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks." She stood up, and rushed past him and Chris.

"Um, Chris, can I have a word with you?" I asked, rubbing my arms. He looked at me worriedly, and nodded while Detective Simone went to his desk.

I went to the back of the office, to Chris's desk. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I just got off the phone with Leon...I asked him to call Claire before, to let her know the killer might be after us. He hasn't been able to get in contact with her." A look of panic washed over his face.

"What? Why didn't you tell me sooner?!" He exclaimed.

"I...didn't want to get you worried over nothing. He said he's heading over to her place now, and he'll call once he knows what's going on." I explained.

"No...I gotta go find her." He pulled his jacket from the back of his chair.

I held his arm, hoping he'd listen to me. "Chris, there's no point in you going all the way out there. Leon's closer, and he _promised _to call. We both know that Claire's your only family, and that she means everything to you, but you shouldn't jump the gun, okay?"

"Yeah...I guess you're right. I'm just worried...I'm always worrying now. This shit sucks." He slumped in his chair, and pressed his fists against his forehead. "So anyway, your gun still hasn't turned up yet. Luckily, it wasn't used in the murder. Hopefully the guy will try to hock it for some money to get out of town."

"Why are you hoping for that?" I asked, crossing my legs.

"We called every pawn shop in the city that's under our jurisdiction with the make and model number. We told them to act cool, and say they need to take it in the back or whatever and to call immediately."

"What about selling it?"

"They'll probably make something up about calling their manager. Hopefully he won't get impatient. We'll have to hope and pray that these owners aren't idiots." 

Chris's phone rang, so I left to get us some coffee. I didn't particularly care for coffee, but I needed a jump start. Since there weren't any breaks in the case, I started feeling sluggish. Placing a cardboard-like cup on Chris's desk, I smiled. "Who was that?" I asked.

"Linda." He replied.

"Oh...how's she doing?"

"Alright. She just got Barry's possessions from the hospital. She wanted to stop by and talk about funeral arrangements. Man...I don't want to have to do this now.."

"Yeah, I understand. But, the sooner you get it over with...the sooner everyone can move on. How are the kids taking it?"

"No clue. She hasn't really mentioned them much. I can imagine that they don't really understand yet."

Nodding, I took a sip of my coffee. "So. There doesn't seem to be much crime in Wesk Creek. Think the other potential perp's are scared by the new police presence?" I asked.

"Maybe. I mean, the town's usually quiet as far as I've been told. You'd think that since _everyone's _workin' on this case that it would be solved already!" He sighed exasperatedly, rubbing his temples.

"We'll figure it out. How'd you like me to bring you back some lunch?"

"Sure, sounds good. Let me get you some money."

I was about to tell him it was no big deal, but my savings were dwindling down, and unless I got a job soon, I'd have a zero balance in my bank account. "It's no big deal..." I said lightly.

"Nah, I'd feel bad making you buy for me." He said with a smile.

"What do you want?"

"Anything, anything but donuts."

"Alright. I'll be back soon."

--*--

As I made my way back into the police station from the deli, I saw Linda ascending the stairs that led to the detective office. Her pace was slow, and unmotivated. Barry really was everything to her. I followed her up the stairs, but didn't greet her. There wasn't anything to say, really. "Sorry your husband's dead" or something wouldn't help the situation any. Chris was waiting for her near the doorway. "Hey Linda...Jill? You're back." Chris greeted. Linda slowly turned to me and smiled weakly.

"Oh, Linda, I didn't notice you there." I lied.

"Would you like some coffee?" Chris offered.

"Sure." Linda replied, following him to the coffee room. "So I got Barry's things back..."

"Yeah, huh?" That was the thing cops said when they weren't sure how exactly to respond.

"His college ring..his wallet...not much. Still, I feel almost nostalgic looking at them." She pulled the ring from the bag and looked at the light blue stone. "I wish I could wear it, but my fingers are too small."

"You could always put it on a chain and wear it around your neck." I suggested.

"It's too heavy. As if the weight of the world isn't pulling me down already." The phone at Chris's desk rang. 

"I'll get it for you." I offered, getting up and walking out of the small room and picking up the receiver. "Hello, Detective Redfield's desk?"

"Jill? It's Leon--put Chris on." Placing the phone on the desk, I half-ran back into the room. 

"Chris, Leon for you." I reported.

"You're busy....I just wanted to see what you were thinking about in regards to the funeral. You can call me if you get any idea's. Sorry to bother you." Linda stood up, and clutched the bag with Barry's things tightly.

I could tell he wanted to rush to the phone, but he didn't want to be rude. "You don't have to go...maybe you should get some rest. Have you been sleeping well?" He asked.

"No. I'm so used to having him next to me. The girls have been sleeping in bed with me....but it's just not the same. Bye, Chris." She walked out of the room, pulling a tissue from her pocket. Once she was out of sight, Chris ran to the phone.

"Yeah, Leon? It's me."

I listened to his half of the conversation lightly, figuring everything was fine. But, wouldn't you know it, things _weren't _fine. As I thumbed through the folder about the attack on Carlos, I heard Chris say "Is she okay?" I looked up worriedly. "Yeah....yeah...she was, though? Conscious?...which hospital? Alright, I'll be there." He hung up the phone and put his hands on the desk, bowing his head.

"Chris...what is it..?" I asked lowly.

"Accident." He mumbled, before half-running, half-staggering to the bathroom. I ran after him, hoping that no one was using the urinals in there. Chris practically collapsed into the stall, and threw up. I had to repress my sympathetic gag reflex, as throwing up on him wouldn't do any good. 

"Are you alright? What happened?" I asked, as he slumped against the stall wall and slid to the floor. I handed him a bunch of toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

"Claire...she was in a accident on her bike..."


	8. Chapter 8

No Balm For Grief 8

By: Hotaru

Notes: Because Utada Hikaru owns, I'll be using lyrics from Deep River. . By the way, does anyone actually listen to the songs I use? I need to know!!

_To the reviewers:_

Tek: You're always one step behind, in regards to....you....hell, first to review! Thank you! Teh english class hath warped my brain.

Panny: Wag. Yeah, I did that! I took Claire dooowwwwn. You don't know the pattern ha ha ha ha haa-ha!

Ota: The mystery....of the universe....is icing.

ScoobySnax: Eat the chinese, and eat it well.

Gruntyluv: Awesome, I love attracting new readers! Enjoy!

_Is the finger that's drawing a line to connect the dots   
tracing out the road I've come down, or the one I'm going away on?_

_Two people tie these lines together   
one day everyone will arrive at the sea,   
not scared because they'll become one. _  


"What? An accident...she was hit?" I questioned. He shook his head, and looked like he was going to throw up again.

"No. Some jackass was in the wrong lane, speeding around a slow car or something, and she had to swerve to avoid hitting him and was thrown off her bike. Leon didn't know what her condition was, just that she was conscious when the ambulence got there.

"Oh, God. Where are they taking her?"

"One of the hospitals on the edge of town. Presbyterian...something or other." Sweat was forming on his brow, and he was panting lightly.

"Well, she's alright. Come on, come wash your face, and we can get going, okay?"

_Flowing through countless rivers  
you don't have to accept everything with the name you're given  
without ever asking 'why'? _

_Our pain just now flew away. _  


He nodded and I helped him stand up. He staggered to the sink and cleaned himself up. Poor guy. He's going through so much, trying to keep things in control. But no matter how hard he tries, it seems like nothing is going his way. "I'll go let your boss know we'll be leaving, okay?" I said, as he turned the faucet and leaned against the sink weakly. "Okay." He nodded.

I went back through the office, and knocked on the door to the lieutenant's office. He waved me in. "What's up?" He asked.

"Chris's sister was in an accident, and we're going to be going to the hospital in a few minutes. I just wanted to let you know." I replied.

"Oh, God. How is she?"

"Not sure, but she was conscious when the ambulance arrived so we're hopeful."

"How about Chris? How's he taking it?"

"Not well. His former boss and friend just died, this case...he's taking it hard."

"Alright, let him know he's got plenty of time to sort things out."

"Thanks. He'll appreciate that."

I left the office and got our coats from Chris's desk, and also grabbed the case files before going to meet him outside of the bathroom. He looked pale. "Are you feeling any better?" I asked, handing him his coat.

"No. Still nauseous." He answered, starting down the stairs.

"I'll drive, if you want."

"Sure. What'd the boss say?"

"He was concerned for you and Claire. And he said you have plenty of time to get through this."

_We weren't entrusted with swords   
just so we'd know how they sound when they clash.   
Who can you protect with that kind of contradiction?_

On our way out of the station house, we asked for directions to the hospital where Claire would be. It was about 20 minutes away, which would hopefully give Chris some time to relax, and settle his stomach. I didn't know what to say. My mind was racing, and as I drove down the highway, I had to wonder if there would be an attempt made on our lives every time I passed a car. In my head, I kept repeating that she'd be fine, but...why couldn't I believe it?

"How long until we get there?" Chris asked, tilrting his head forward.

"Just a few more minutes. How are you feeling?" I asked.

"A bit better. You okay?"

"Me? I'd be more worried about you."

"Why's that?"

"You're dealing with more...emotionally than I am." I explained.

"Still...I'm worried about you." He said.

"You don't have to be." That came out harsher than I had intended. 

"...Jill...if I lose _you_ I don't think I can go on."

"You're not going to lose me. I promise."

We got to the hospital, and went to find Claire in the recovery hall. Leon was in the room with her when we got there. "Claire! Claire...wake up!" Chris rushed to her side and took her hand. "Hi Leon. How is she?" I asked. He sighed deeply.

"The doctors say she has a bunch of broken bones and a minor concussion. Other than that, she's fine. No internal bleeding which is good." He replied.

"Wow, that's good. She didn't need any surgery?" I asked. Leon shook his head. I sighed thankfully. 

"They're using medication to keep her asleep, Chris. You won't be able to wake her up." Leon said gruffly. Chris stopped shaking his sister. "Huh? Oh...oh. Okay. We'll wait until she wakes up."

_You change shape so many times, floating down before me  
Today I'm looking for you.   
You don't have to be accepted everywhere.   
Everyone was blessed with a blade called "individuality" _

Chris faithfully stayed by his sister's side, barely moving. I got him cups of water, and food that he didn't touch. A doctor walked into the room sometime that night. "I'm going to turn off the medicine that's keeping your sister asleep. She may wake up now, or not until sometime tomorrow. The prognosis is good, Mr. Redfield. Your sister is very lucky." He said, fiddeling with an IV.

"Was there anyone else brought in...the driver of the other car?" Chris asked.

"I...you'll have to talk to the cops about that. I don't know which hospital the other victim was brought to." The doctor replied.

"I can call the boss if you want." I offered.

"Yeah, okay. I'm gonna stay here until she wakes up."

I smiled at him with encouragment, and went to the pay phones in the hall. Quickly, I dialed in the lieutenant's private number. After about a ring and a half he picked up the phone. "Hi, Lieutenant. This is Jill." I greeted.

"Hi Jill, how are Chris and his sister?" He replied.

"Alright. His sister's going to be fine, she has a few broken bones and a concussion though."

"That's not bad for being in a MVA." (motor vehicle accident)

"Yeah. Chris is hanging in there, but he actually had a question for you."

"Alright, shoot."

"The doctor doesn't know where the driver of the other vehicle was brought and we both think that this could be the person responsible for all the attacks in West Creek." I explained.

"That's...kind of a big leap." The lieutenant replied. "Do you have any evidence before I go searching hospital records?"

"Not actually hard proof, but it's the angle we're taking. If you can't do it, it's alright. But I know it would ease Chris's mind a bit anyway."

"....alright, I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks. I'll give you a call in about an hour or so."

"Okay, bye."

I hung up and smiled slightly, before heading back to Claire's room. She was still sleeping, but Chris wasn't hunched over her any more. "What'd he say?" He asked the minute I walked into the room.

"That he'd look into it." I replied, going to my coat. "I brought the case files along, if you want to take a look at them Leon." I handed the manila folder, and caught Chris sort of glaring at me. "I figured he might want to take a look at what we've got so far....which isn't much."

"Yeah, sure. If he figures everything out, after we've been having all this trouble..." He replied, shaking his head. Leon opened the folder on Barry's death and looked through it. I sat down beside Chris and put my hand on his knee to comfort him. Leon chewed on his thumbnail as his eyes scanned the documents. 

"Hm. So he was out jogging when he had the heart attack?" He questioned. Me and Chris shrugged. Linda never gave us the details.

"I guess. When she called me, she said that Barry was having chest pain." Chris replied.

"Well, he wasn't exactly in shape, so the heart attack probably wasn't induced by someone else." Leon continued.

"Unless someone held a gun to him or something and scared him into one..."

"That's probably not likely. He wasn't robbed or carrying anything of importance..." He took Carlos's file and opened it on top of Barry's. "Nothing was stolen from his apartment, had no enemies..what's with the rings?"

Chris and I looked up. "Rings? What do you mean?" I asked.

"When Barry was brought into the hospital he was wearing a ring, and Carlos's ring was taken as evidence. _And _Carlos mentioned his ring before he died." Leon replied.

"Purple...Carlos's birthstone is purple. What month is that?" Leon looked down at the file.

"February."

"And Barry's ring had a blue stone..."

"Was it a sapphire?" Leon questioned.

I shook my head. "It was light blue." I said.

"Well, it says Barry was born in December. So it jumps from December to February. What about January?"

"Jill's birthday is in January." Chris said. And then it all made sense. "Holy shit...Claire's birthday is in April. Mine is in June. Leon, when's yours?"

"May."

"And Rebecca's is in September, remember she had a Labor Day/Birthday party that time? So it's by our birth months?" I asked.

Leon swallowed. "If that's the case, then I'd be next." He said. "But why start with Barry in December? Why not Jill first?"

"Barry's death might have been completely un-related, and just happened coincidentally. So technically it started with Jill." Chris replied.

"Okay. So...what now?" I asked.

"It's pretty simple. This guy has a pattern, and as long as I can avoid getting attacked, then everyone else will be safe." Leon explained.

"And you'll cheat death until you catch the guy?" I questioned.

He shrugged. "That isn't safe. Not that I doubt you can handle the guy, but you don't know what he'll do." Chris interjected.

"Well, there isn't much else we can do. We have no idea what the guy looks like, he's already killed one person, and attacked Jill...and maybe even tried to kill Claire. I'm willing to put myself in danger so that no one else gets hurt." 

_Sometimes the flow changes   
You don't have to accept everything with the name you're given  
without having anything.   
The birds facing against the seabreeze just now flew away_

"Chris? Is that you?" A small voice said.

"Claire...you're alright...thank God."


	9. Chapter 9

No Balm For Grief 9

By: Hotaru

Notes: The need for J-Pop....I'm adding in lyrics now. I've never actually heard this song, but I'm thinking the translation applies to this chapter quiet well. Werd. So, here's to "A Silent Letter" by L'arc~en~ciel. Healthy obsession, Panny. Healthy. 

Tek: Did you now? My sister said "I know the pattern!" and I was like "Dammit!" But she didn't! Hahaha. Seems so simple now, hm?

Gruntyluv: I already wrote who's supposed to be next! Are you flying thru when reading? ^_~

Ota: There should be a lot of beating. That'll be exciting!

ScoobySnax: Final Destination...saw that on Sci-Fi. Not _that _bad, persay. Not that good, either IMO. Yes, Hikki sings First Love ("You are always gonna be my love, itsuka) when I first heard the instrumental version of that song, I listened to it at least five times in a row. So nice. Deep River, the song I used in the last chapter, is on the CD I'll be getting as soon as I can pre-order L'arc~en~ciel's new CD! Phew

Panny: Oh, that's true. Well, he can attack him at least. Bah. I confused myself here. Yes, you mentioned their astrological signs. I guess you were sorta right.

_My finger tips can no longer reach the distant night sky  
I'll undo the twinkling stars and set them free._

Chris took his sister's hand and held it tightly. "Does it hurt any where?" He questioned.

"Mm..my head. And my ribs." She mumbled lightly.

"You broke a few bones, kid but you'll be alright." Tears were starting to form in his eyes.

"What happened..? There was...a car..."

"Yeah, you were thrown from your bike. You had us all worried."

"Us...all?" She questioned, her eyes slowly moving around.

"Yeah. Leon is here, and Jill too." Chris replied. Leon moved into her view.

"Hey Claire. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Weird...like I'm floating.." She answered. "The guy..driving the other car...where is he?"

"We don't know. Did you see him?" Chris asked.

Claire nodded slowly. "Yes...he had this..look on his face..like he meant to hit me."

"What'd he look like?" Chris asked, urging her on.

"I...he looked...normal."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't really recognize him."

"Was he white, black--"

"White. Brownish hair...and stubble." Claire sighed before drifting back to sleep.

_Stay with me until I fall asleep  
Don't let go with that gentle hand,  
like when I would get lost as a child_

"Damn." Chris said, flopping back in his seat.

"You expecting more?" Leon questioned.

"Yeah. I really thought it'd be someone we know...or knew."

"He could have been hired by Umbrella to finish us off." I reminded him. 

Nodding, Chris closed his eyes. "You should get some rest." I said, rubbing his back.

"Yeah...now that I know she's alright maybe I'll be able to fall asleep for awhile." He replied with a yawn.

"I think there was a couch or something you can sleep on out in the waiting room." Leon said, gesturing towards the door with his thumb. Chris stood up and stretched. "You guy's'll be in here right? I don't want to leave her alone." He said.

"Yep, we'll stay right here. Go, get some rest." I said with a smile. Nodding, he turned and went out into the hallway and disappeared behind the closed door. When me and Leon's eyes met, he smiled briefly before looking down at Claire.

"Oh! I should go call our boss and let him know we figured out the pattern." I said, suddenly remember. Leon nodded. "White male, brown hair, and stubble. Anything else I'm forgetting?" He shook his head, and I rushed out to the hallway. I caught sight of Chris getting comfortable on a few chairs pushed together. Poor guy. I ran to the phones, and quickly dialed in the Lieutenant's number again. 

"Hello?" He greeted.

"Lietuenant, it's Jill again. I think we've figured out the killer's pattern!" I gushed, a little too loudly.

"You did? What is it?"

"He's going by birthdays. We think that Barry's death might not really be related, just a coincidence. My birthday is in January, Carlos's February, Claire's in April. And Claire got a good look at the guy, she said that it looked like he was trying to hit her."

"What's he look like? I'll put out an APB on him." The lieutenant said. I wasn't sure exactly what APB meant...it was a cop term I'd figure out eventually.*

"White male, with brown hair, and stubble. She fell back asleep before she could tell us any more about him. Hopefully this helps, in any case." I replied.

"Yeah. Well, that's great. Hopefully we can catch this guy before he hurts someone again. Who's next on the hit list?"

"It'd be Claire's friend, Leon. He's a cop, too."

"Yeah? Well...make sure he takes care to watch out for himself until we catch the guy."

"Right, will do. Oh, did you find anything out about the driver?"

"Yeah, no one else was brought in on that case. Now that we got a description on the guy, I'll check the hospitals again." He offered.

"Really? Great, thanks. It's getting late, so we'll call back sometime tomorrow morning. Goodnight, Lieutenant."

"Night Jill. Good work."

I hung up the phone and headed back to Claire's room, yawning slightly. I wonder if we'd take shifts watching Claire so we could all get some sleep. I opened the door to Claire's room and sighed. "You hungry or thirsty or anything?" I asked. Leon shook his head.

"I'm fine. You look exhausted. You should try to get some rest." He suggested.

"I don't want to make you watch her alone. I'll sit here until I start to fall asleep."

--*--

_When I opened the window today,  
I heard the footsteps of the season  
Ah, your manner and smiles are my everything  
_

The next morning, the lieutenant suprised us all with some breakfast he got to go from the nearest IHOP. The pancakes were still warm when he arrived. "Man, Lieu, I can't thank you enough for stopping by." Chris said gratefully, mid-bite.

"No problem. It's always hard when my men are dealing with family problems. I like to try to be there for them, you know?" He replied. 

"Well, thanks at any rate. I was definately starving. I'm surprised that Claire hasn't woken up from the delicious smell yet."

As if we were suddenly in a cliché movie, Claire's eyes fluttered open. "Hey sis. How ya feelin'?" Chris asked, leaning over his little sister.

"A little better. How much morphine did they give me?" She questioned.

"Plenty. You up to some breakfast?" Chris held up his styrofoam container and revealed the contents.

"Sure." She turned and looked at Chris's boss. "Who are you?" She asked.

He smiled and held out his hand. "I'm Tony Windsor, Chris's lieutenant. Glad to see you're feeling better." He said. Claire tried to shake his hand, but couldn't move much. "Well, as long as you're doing alright, I should get back to the squad. Is there anything else you can tell me about the man who tried to hit you?"

"Let me think..." Claire said, closing her eyes briefly. "There was a sticker on the windshield...like a parking permit or something. It was right in the center, which was weird. I could have sworn it was Umbrella's logo, but I'm not really sure now." I saw Chris tense up in his seat. 

"Alright. I'll talk to you all later. Goodbye." The lieutenant left, and Chris banged his fist on the arm of his chair.

"God dammit! I knew Umbrella was behind this. I just _knew _it!"

I held his arm, and said, "Didn't you hear her? She said she's not sure. Don't jump the gun, Chris. Just try to concentrate on helping Claire get better, okay?" 

"But...they're coming after my friends, and now my family! You can't expect me not to get pissed off about this!" He replied, while Claire pulled his tray of food over to eat.

"You're allowed to get pissed off, but you really shouldn't lose your head. Leon's half falling asleep into his hash browns because he stayed up all night waiting for Claire to wake up. Don't you think _he's _upset about this too?" 

"You stayed up all night, Leon?" Claire asked. Leon nodded and smiled tiredly. "That's so sweet."

_Stay with me, what should I do ?  
I may not always be able to look at you kindly  
like when I would get lost as a child  
...goodbyes are...  
_

Watching the two friends interact, I think Chris got my point. He would finally take a break from worrying and help his sister out now. He brushed it off when he found out that she ate the rest of his breakfast. Leon offered to share, but Chris refused. "You deserve a good meal, and a few hours sleep. Eat up, my good man." Chris smiled. This was the first he had smiled in awhile, and it pulled on my heart strings. Sometimes, I wondered what was going on in that head of his. Was he ever truly happy? Had he moved on from the deaths of his teammates and friends? He would probably be a little hurt if he learned that I felt bad for him.

"So where are my flowers, guys? I expected lillies and roses. Lots of 'em!" Claire exclaimed with a big grin.

"They're not in season...I think." Chris excused.

"I wouldn't even have minded if they were from the supermarket. Just something nice to brighten up the room. My dreams haven't been too pleasant, you know."

"I'm sorry. I'll run down to the gift shop and get you a bunch of stuff okay?" Leon said, standing up, and kissing the top of Claire's head. I expected Chris to get angry, but much to my suprise, he actually smiled a bit.

"Jelly beans, please. I've kind of had a craving for them. And I think I'll suck all the color and flavor off until it's just a gelatin little...bean thing. Chris always used to say it looked like larvae or something gross.." She was pretty cheerful. Perhaps it was the morphine.

"Okay, jelly bean larvae and flowers. I'll be back." Leon said, before heading out the door.

"You eat too many sweets you know." Chris said with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, well, you only live once, right!"

"Chris, I think I'll head back to your place for a shower, and to change my clothes. You mind if I take your car?" I said, realizing I probably didn't smell pleasant.

"Sure, that's fine. Bring in the mail and everything." Chris said, pulling his keys out from his pocket.

"Thanks. You want me to bring anything?" I questioned, pulling my coat on.

"Uh...nah, I'm fine. Thanks." 

"Okay, I'll see you guys in a little while." I waved, and headed back to Chris's apartment.

_...I have been thinking about you. _

_Dear my love, I'll cross even the farthest oceans with these arms,  
and I'll never be afraid again of the stormy days.  
Are you feeling inbetween the rise and fall of the waves?  
__Looking up, the swirl of stars is beautiful,   
like when I would get lost as a child  
....goodbyes are..._

Sooo, how did you like it? It's not angsty much, right? The song fit, right? When someone finds it....I will ask them for it. x_x

*APB means all point bulletin, according to my dictionary. 


	10. Chapter 10

No Balm For Grief 10

By: Hotaru

Notes: I confused myself greatly while writing this. I kept thinking that May was after June, so I fixed chapter 8, then re-uploaded it. Then I realized that I had messed it up when it was fine, I fixed it _again _and uploaded it _again_. Anyway, this is the last chapter, and I'm using the lyrics of L'arc~en~ciel's Neo Universe for the end! I think that the song fits it quite well, so I hope when the lyrics start you will listen to the song. 

_To the Reviewers:_

The Magnificent Kiwi: You have a keen intuition.

Tek: Heheh, it's my job to confuse and baffle you. I have a chicken sticker on me...

Ota: Hah hah, that's unique. She has black out sessions, and when she wakes up....she's commited murder!

GruntyLuv: As I said above, I confused the bejeesus out of myself here...

On my way down the hall, I ran into Leon. He had been suprisingly fast at the gift shop. "Where are you headed?" He asked me from behind a basket of flowers.

"Back to Chris's place for a shower and clean clothes." I told him.

"I'll walk you to your car, just let me bring this to Claire's room." He offered.

"'Kay. I'll wait here." I dawdled around, glancing in rooms and whatnot until he came back. 

"She loved everything." Leon informed me with a smile.

"That's good. I'm suprised that she's so optimistic and cheery." I replied, pressing the call button for the elevator. 

"Yeah. I've noticed her general outlook change substantially since I first met her. She's happier. I wonder if Chris notices."

"Probably. He hasn't really said anything to me about it. Then again, they hadn't seen each other for awhile since the Raccoon City incident, so she might have gotten depressed and started missing him around that time."

We stepped onto the elevator, and the doors closed slowly. "That's true. At any rate, I'm happy for her." Leon replied. There was silence, except for the music on the elevator. It sounded like a midi version of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor. I guess that was appropriate for the situation. "So how did your boss react to the news about figuring out the attacker's pattern?" Leon questioned as we stepped off the elevator, and into the parking garage.

"Well, he was happy about it, and said he'd put an APB out of the description that Claire gave." I told him as we walked toward Chris's car.

"Hopefully the catch the guy quickly. Otherwise, she'll probably have to look at mug books, look at line ups...anyways."

"Yeah, thanks for walking me. Let Chris know I'll be back in about an hour or two, alright?" 

He smiled and saluted me lightly. I got in the car and slowly backed out of the spot before driving down the ramp. A car started to pull out in front of me, so I pressed the break and turned to see if Leon had gone back to the elevator. He was running, and practically slammed into the door, and started pressing the button frantically. _/What the hell?/_ When the doors started to open, he slipped inside, and started pressing the buttons inside. _/What's the matter with him?/ _The person in front of me was gone, but I hadn't moved. When the doors finally started to close I saw someone else running towards the elevator. Something glinted in his hand. Leon pulled his gun and aimed it at the person, who stopped just short of the doors, before they closed. 

I put the car in reverse, and sped backwards up the ramp. He was gone by the time I got there. Reaching under the driver's seat, I pulled out a gun. I knew Chris kept it there for emergencies. Putting the car in park, I slowly got out, and extended my arms. There were a dozen places this guy could be hiding, and I was out the open. I heard loud footsteps from the ramp about a hundred feet ahead of me. I aimed the gun and waited. "Jill! Where is he? Where'd he go?" It was Leon. He had his gun out too as he ran towards me.

"I don't know! I just saw him coming after you, and he disappeared before I got back up here." I told him, looking around. 

"He was coming at me with a knife. I don't know why I didn't think to pull my gun out.." He replied.

"At any rate, he's gotta be here..unless he ran down the ramp on the other side. There were two ramps on each side of the level. One for cars going up, one for cars going down. 

We looked under and behind all the cars parked on that level. Then my eyes caught something. A large garbage can right near the elevator. "He could have jumped in there to hide." I whispered to Leon.

"Let's check it out." He whispered back. We both walked towards the garbage can, aware that there could be a knife-weilding man inside, eager to kill Leon. I went to the back of the can, and Leon nodded, signaling me to pull of the lid. I did so, and he pointed his gun inside. Empty. There was a dull crash behind us, and we swiveled around.

"He _was _in a garbage can!" Leon exclaimed, running back towards the direction he came, while the man looked for somewhere to go. I ran down the ramp, and towards the elevator on the floor below us. If I could get to the level _above _us, me and Leon could ambush the guy. "Come on..." I told the elevator, as it slowly headed up to my floor. Finally, the doors opened and I flew inside, and pressed the six button, and hit 'door close'. 

Those were the longest twenty seconds of my life. Leon could be dead. The killer could have gotten away, and I wouldn't be able to stop it. He'd be going after Chris, next. Finally, the doors opened on the sixth floor, and I silently crept down the ramp, making sure to keep hidden. "Put the knife down on the ground." I heard Leon order the guy. "Now!" He barked. Finally, I could see what was happening. Well, I could see the killer at least. He had a scarf around his face, but I could see his eyes. He didn't look like anyone I knew.

"Put the knife of the floor, or I blow out your kneecap." Leon said. Slowly, the killer began to move downward, finally placing the knife on the ground. "Kick it to me." Leon instructed. As the man did so, I saw his hand move to his back. I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to blow my cover. It'd be better to suprise him. As I thought, he pulled out a gun and aimed at Leon. It was _my _gun. 

"Now Mr. Kennedy, you're going to do exactly what _I _say." He said. He had a scratchy voice, like he was a smoker.

"Why should I? You just want to kill me, right?" Leon replied.

"Yes. But if you listen to me, I'll make your death as painless as possible."

"Did you promise that to Carlos too, before you butchered him?!"

The man chuckled. "He fought back." He said simply, as if that would explain everything. He was still aiming at Leon, and I'm sure Leon was still aiming at him too. I wondered what I should do. I couldn't get behind the guy. I couldn't really move without him seeing me. I'm not much of a sharp shooter, and even though he was only about fifteen feet away from me, I was getting nervous about having to shoot him. I could aim for his feet, taking him down long enough for me to go and retrieve his weapon. But if I missed, it would be pointless.

"So, are we right about your pattern? Killing us by our birth months?" Leon asked.

"It took you people _so _long to figure out what was _so _obvious. I guess Umbrella over-estimated your intelligence. You'd never be able to take them out. Part of me wonders why they even bothered sending me to kill you." 

"So it _was _Umbrella. They were worried we'd take them down, so they hired you. What are you, a hit man? Hired killer?"

"Something like that. Some might call me a bounty hunter. They put prices on each of your heads. I was the one who made if fun, but putting a pattern to it. I gave you a chance to stop it all."

"That's very kind of you. Well, we figured it out, and we're going to take you down."

The man chuckled. "'We'? Where'd your little friend go? Run to hide, just like when I went after her?" He taunted. I bit my lip, and held my ground.

"I don't know where she went. Why didn't you kill her when you had the chance. You got her gun, right?" Leon questioned.

"Yes, I did."

"Then why? You could have shot her easy enough."

"She's just too pretty to kill. Just like that Claire Redfield. I _could _have rammed my car into her, and crushed her pretty body to pieces...but that would be a waste. There just isn't enough pretty people in this world."

"Don't you talk about Claire that way!" Leon shouted. He was letting his emotions get to him. 

"What? There's nothing between you two. Her brother wouldn't allow it...as a matter of fact, he's next on my list after you." The killer took a step forward.

"Well you're not going to have a chance to get him, cause I'm stopping you." Leon said back. I moved to the end of the ramp and peeked out. If he moved up a little bit more, I'd be able to sneak out and get him.

Instead of moving forward, he started walking sideways, towards me. "Stop right there, I am not letting you escape." I heard Leon start running. Then the killer started running. I climbed up from the floor, and started to run up the ramp. If I could just get some distance between us...I yelped as the killer grabbed my shirt through my jacket and yanked me to the floor. He kicked Chris's gun from my hand, and grabbed me by the hair. "Don't play me for a fool, Miss Valentine." He breathed into my ear. He held his gun, which was actually _my_ gun, against my head, and walked back down the ramp.

"Mr. Kennedy, I'd suggest you put your gun down. But, if you want your friend to die..." Leon's eyes widened when he saw me. _/Why didn't I just take the shot? Goddammit...I should have shot him/_ "I'm waiting, Mr. Kennedy. Put the gun down, and back away." The killer instructed.

"Don't do it, Leon! End everything right now! You can't forgive him for what he's done to our friends." I said, hoping to God that this guy wouldn't shoot me. 

"Jill..." Leon was struggling with his heart and mind. Then, he started to lower himself, and put his gun on the floor. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "I can't..."

"Don't, Leon!" I could imagine the killer smiling now. He had won. 

"Kick the gun towards me." He said, tapping my gun against my head. His arm was slowly choking me, but it was the only way of keeping me where I was. Leon kicked the gun towards us. "Goodbye, Mr. Kennedy." The pressure from the gun was released from my head, and he aimed and shot at Leon. I squeezed my eyes shut, and felt myself moving.

I was shoved into the back seat of a car. Opening my eyes, I tried to look for Leon through the tinted windows. The killer was in the drivers seat, and still had a gun in his hand. As he started to drive, I lunged for it, and wrestled for a few seconds, before he released the steering wheel, and smacked his fist against the side of my head. I fell against the plush seat of the car, and tried to shake off the dizziness that I felt. Once I could see clearly, I reached and grabbed both of the guy's arms. He dropped the gun, and raised his knee to control the car so it didn't swerve into any other cars. I guess he thought he'd knock me out, and keep going. I tried to bend his arms backwards, to the point where they would break.

He pressed on the accelerator as we went down a ramp. I looked up and saw someone with a gun, aiming at the car. "Chris!" I exclaimed, using the last of my strength to move to the side, while still holding the guy's arms, so Chris could shoot. There was a boom, the sound of glass cracking, and a sound I couldn't describe. I felt a warm liquid spray on my face. I opened my eyes, and dived to press the brake. I pressed the pedal to the ground, and my body flung forward. Despite the awkward position I was in, I found the gear shift, and put the car into park. The driver side door opened, and the killer was pulled out. "Jill, are you okay?!" Chris asked frantically.

I started to push myself up, and get reoriented. He handcuffed the guy, who had been shot in the neck. "He's going to die if he doesn't get treated." I said, looking in the rearview mirror at all the blood on my face. Grimacing, I climbed out of the car. Chris pulled me into his arms, suprising me slightly. 

_The scales have started to tip upwards  
I'm going to build up one side,  
so the other reaches higher than heaven._  


"I was so worried about you." He whispered into my hair.

"You were? H-how did you know where we were?" I questioned. 

_Even for these kind of innocent angels which can't fly,  
morning will come to them gloriously. _

_Don't let go of that hand,  
feel the world awaken.   
_

"Claire was getting worried, since Leon hadn't come back. She sent me to go after you, and I figured I'd check to see if my car was still in the garage. I saw it, parked off to the side, and my gun was missing. Then I saw him shoot at Leon, and toss you in the car. I had the gun that I got when I became a detective on me, and headed down here to stop him in his tracks." He explained. 

_Even though it seems ready to shatter, it stays clear  
You waited yesterday without sleep. _

_Miracles you'd seen in dreams aren't coming but  
the distant sky will lead you to them. _  


"Leon! Is he...okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. The bullet grazed his leg, but he should be fine. What about you? Are you hurt anywhere?" He said, looking me over.

"No, not really. He tried to fracture my skull when I grabbed him. Other than that...I'm okay." I said, the blood starting to irritate my skin.

"Well, let's get this guy some help, and have you cleaned up, okay?" He said with a smile.

_You are gentle like the wind  
Like a bird flying freely in this world  
without fear neo universe  
_

_Even if it ends in tragedy  
I'm glad I met you. _

Chris half-dragged the killer into the emergency room, still handcuffed. A doctor took a look at Leon's leg, and I went into the bathroom to get washed up. So much had happened in the past few days. Someone tried to kill me, and my friends. I was almost kidnapped. God knows what would have happened if Chris wasn't there to rescue me. Thoughts like that make me doubt myself. I found that I had been doubting myself a lot lately. I couldn't defend myself when he broke into Ms. Bass's apartment. All I could do then was run. I couldn't save Leon, and I couldn't save myself.

_The bind I've gotten into, I entrust it to you  
I want to believe forevermore. _

Walking out of the bathroom, I went to find Chris and Leon. A doctor was stitching up Leon's leg. "You okay?" I asked, pushing the door open.

"Yeah. I was more worried about you! Where'd you go?" Leon replied.

"I thought it would be a good idea if I could sneak up behind him. Unfortunately, it didn't work out too well. I'm sorry for leaving you alone with that guy." I apologized, and it was a lame one at that. 

"Sorry your plan didn't work out. Are you okay, otherwise?"

I nodded, even though the side of my head had started to ache awhile ago. "Yeah. Thank God Chris came after us, huh?" Chris blushed slightly, and looked embarassed. The female doctor smiled at him, before covering Leon's wound with a guaze pad. "Alright, change the dressing twice a day, and clean the wound out with a mild antiseptic and you should be alright. Come back in about a week and we'll see about removing those stitches." She said, pulling off her medical gloves.

"Thanks Doc." Leon replied, pulling his pant leg down. 

_Laugh like a pretty flower  
Shine like a star  
Flying over this world  
Without fear neo universe_

"I bet Claire's wondering where everyone went." Chris said, as he let Leon lean on him to walk.

"I put all that candy out of her reach. I bet she called the nurse and asked for her to bring it over." Leon chuckled. 

"Do you think that guy's going to live?" I asked, as we waited by the elevator.

"Who knows? He was bleeding a lot. Part of me wants him to live so we could figure out just what he was told to kill us all for, and then there's a part of me that wishes he'd die." Chris said. I knew that having a dead man on his conscious would probably haunt him forever. At any rate, I'd be there for him, to help him through it.

_It's the time of rebirth!  
It's the most painful time!  
Let's be tied as one like the sky,  
Neo universe. _  


_~Fin~_

:( It's over! Cry, cry, cry! I have to give a shout out to those who stayed and reviewed til the end. Tek, you rock dude (or dudette?). I'm really glad that you enjoy all of my fics and take the time to actually give me your opinions. It lets me know that people appreciate my creative brain. Ota, I'm going to put a 'ku' at the end of your name. I'm trying to figure out where I can remember that name from...anyways, thanks for sticking around, and reviewing all the chapters. The fact that you were actually guessing what happened told me that you were really enjoying the fic, and were eager to figure out what happened next. ScoobySnax! With the flying monkeys and the J-Pop! Love the music, feel the music, die for the music. Well, maybe not _die _but...yeah. Werd. Panny, part of me thinks you read the fics out of uh...what's the word. It's right there...fuuuuu....goddamn. I had it. Damn you ZONE! DAMN YOU! Obligation! Do you? Doth thou? Gruntyluv, you signed on towards the end, but it's all good. Anyone that I left out, don't feel bad. I'm shouting out the people who've been constant. If you haven't, it's your fault! ;p

So, in the words of Hyde: 

The bells have rung, the time has come  
I cannot find the words to say my last goodbye  
This scenery is evergreen  
You've always been so dear to me

I was going to use the lyrics to Evergreen like...when Chris died. I actually planned on killing everyone, and have Rebecca figure out who the killer was when he was in her apartment, and she'd have to hide and all this. Then, I felt bad, and realized you can't talk in first person, and then kill them off and go to third person. That'd be weird. Sigh. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the fic, and the J-pop...and most of all....the memories...


End file.
